Friday, December 19, 2008

Calling All You Angels

It's been a while since I wrote on this's not that I haven't had anything to say but I think Ponsawan has kept you all up to date since Ada has been home more than I ever could. There are many nights I have wanted to contribute to the blog but couldn't find the words to really help you to see into Ada's world. These past few months have brought many new aspects to Ada's life and the reality that the brain is very slow to heal. She is physically doing better because of the wonderful and loving care that Ponsawan provides every hour of the day. Ponsawan has begun to pick up on the signs that Ada displays and then knows how to give her comfort. I see more expression in Ada's eyes these days...sometimes I swear she's picking up on what is being said.....and wants to tell those around her what's on her mind. She has a way of lifting up an eyebrow that brings a smile to my face.
Today the driver of the car that struck Ada plead guilty and was sentenced. Ponsawan spoke from the bottom of her heart as to what it is like to see her beautiful Ada live like this each and every day. She spoke of the tears she sheds every night before she goes to sleep and how each morning she wakes up hoping it was just a nightmare. When she told the court why Ada was out so late that night... a friend had called her to pick him up because he had been drinking, you could hear the air being sucked out of the room.
I also spoke... for all of you and I decided I would include my words in this blog tonight...

"What I remember most about Ada is her beautiful smile. When she walked into a room all eyes were on her. Because of this tragedy her family has been waiting ten months to see even a slight smile come across her beautiful face. As a mother who has stood by this family all these months I am in awe of how they go about their daily living with Ada. It is not in our realm of comprehension to know their pain. Ada was the light of their lives, she was the one who guided them through life, who was there with the quick hugs and of course her infectious smile. She worked hard and dreamed big. Ada has two younger brothers who adore their big sister. She was supportive, they told her all the secrets that you don't tell your parents. Now there are only one-sided conversations with her. Ada's family is still coping with the realities of her injuries...the endless therapies, doctor visits, the feeding tubes, the bills, the anger, the sadness, and the dreams lost. The battle goes on hour by hour waiting for some sign that she understands her surroundings. This was the girl who was two credits shy from an IU diploma, who volunteered during spring break to help Katrina victims. Today we sit and wait for her to move her head to the left...believe me that is a big deal. Ada we are here today to be your voice and to be supportive of the family you love. Do you know the words we say? Do you know where you are? We pray everyday that you do and that some day the connections will come. I hope this court takes into consideration not only the life that has been altered but all the lives that have been changed because of the selfishness of one man. "
There was one voice that could not be heard in that courtroom...Adas'. But she was there sitting next to the prosecutor with her father by her side and her presence was like a 1000 voices. You could see the tears well up in the eyes of even the court room personnel. I don't believe that Ada's family has wanted retribution... because no amount of jail time brings their Ada back as she once was. What they always wanted was for the driver to admit his guilt and for he and his family to see Ada and to know what a beautiful girl inside and out Ada was and what he had stolen from her that night. Ada being there accomplished this... the punishment was up to the judge. He has been sentenced to some jail time, community service, and future restitution. Hopefully the family can put the burden of court room appearances behind them and continue to focus on Ada's care.

Now for the angels part in all of many of you well know the costs of taking care of Ada continues to grow. More therapies and equipment will be needed in the near future and much of it will not be covered by Medicaid. Like most insurance if they don't see quick progress they abandon the treatment. The brain is not a broken bone...there is no time frame on it's ability to heal itself. It will still be months before any settlement comes from the insurance company and even then Indiana law favors the defendant and the insurance company. I realize this time of year there are many requests for your help but if now or in the future.... please send what you can... the family is most grateful for your help and your prayers. This road is very long and most of the time they travel it alone. Let them know they have many friends around the world during this holiday season...send them your best wishes.

Thank you for giving them your love and support,

Judgement day

I know you and your family didn’t know or ever had seen my daughter before, so I would like to tell everybody a little about her and why she was out in her car at 2 am. when the incident happened.
Almost 24 years ago, Ada was born at Ball Memorial hospital in Muncie. My husband and I were students at Ball State University at that time. She grew up like most American kids, went to school, joined the Girl Scouts, being a member of a Gymnastics team and competed at the State Championship level. During High School, she joined the dance team, Gymnastic team, cheerleader team and was a member of the show choir. On top of that, she was holding 2 jobs, volunteered at Wishard Hospital and was able to maintain a 3 point grade average.
Ada is daughter that any parent could be proud of. She is a good sister to her brothers and a good friend to many. One of her friends referred her as “A ray of sunshine”. She is a beautiful girl, outside and inside. She dares to dream; she had big plans for her life after she graduate from Indiana University.
On the night of the accident, March 3rd, 2008, Ada and her brother came home from work at 11 o’clock, showered and we piled up on my bed, talking. Then the phone rang and Ada’s friend wanted her to pick him up from Broad Ripple because he was drunk, but she did not make it to Broad Ripple. She had been his designated driver many times. That’s who she is, caring and worried about other people. Another example of her kindness was during the spring brake at IU, she had arranged to have a group of IU students went down to New Orleans to help clean up after hurricane Katrina.
This very same day last year, December 19, 2008, I dropped off my daughter at the airport. She was on her way to Paris, France. Standing on top of the Eiffel tower, she called me. “I am the luckiest girl in the whole world”. Life was good, for Ada.
She stayed in Paris for 2 months, then decided to come back to finish the last 2 classes at IU. She planned to go back to Paris in June. She did not go back to class. Instead, she spent 3 weeks in the critical care unit at Methodist hospital fighting for her life. The doctor did not think she was going to make it and had advised us to let her go. But she kept fighting and showed us the will to live. We spent 5 weeks in the hospital, 3 month in the nursing home, 2-3 trips to the emergency room each month, 2 month in the rehab hospital and now she is home with her family.
Forget about going back to Paris for now, with severe brain damage, she cannot talk, cannot walk, cannot communicate, she cannot eat or drink, can’t go to the bathroom by herself, can’t stand up on her own and confine to her wheelchair or her bed. She can’t tell us what she wants and how she feels.
A girl with a bright future who was on the go and loved by so many, what‘s in the future for her, or for her family. With the blink of an eye, unexpected thing happened that altered and changed our lives forever. Frankly, to tell me that it is lucky that she is still alive is like getting stab with a knife in my heart repeatedly. Every night, I cried myself to sleep, hoping that it was just a nightmare and when I wake up in the morning, she will be there smiling, giving me a hug and kisses and tell me how much she loves me.
It could be months, years, or never, who knows.

I did it and so darn proud of myself. I stood up in court and spoke on behalf of my daughter. My friend, Ankana always encourage me to join the Toast Master Club so I can learn to speak in front of people. Even when I was a President of Bead Society, I managed to avoid talking in front of people for the whole years. Angkana would be proud of me.
Many were crying , the judge admit that this is one the hardest case to judge. She asked me what would be a fair sentencing. I told her that it does not matter to me because it won't do any good for my daughter. It won't help her in any way.
The defendant is a nice young man, who had never get in trouble with the law, not even get a ticket. He works as a case manager for the Child Protection Agency. Both Ada and him were met at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He admit to all the charges, sincerely apologized.
I forgave him, I had to, just for my own sake, I can't keep getting angry at him, at the world. My heart sank watching him got his hands cuffed. I wish all of these didn't happened.
I am planning to visit him and tell him that I am not angry anymore. Now I feel sorry for him and his family.
I feel better, happier and know from the bottom of my heart, this is the right thing to do. This is what Ada would want me to do.

Monday, December 8, 2008

A special thanks to our friends

We had a few disasters last week. First, I left the pan of cooking oil on the stove and it was caught on fire. We managed to put out the fire and save the house but the stove, the hood and part of the cabinets was damaged and so did a few of my fingers. I still have all 5 of them but some with big blisters and puffiness. I called Abby and Katherine who said "I'll be right there" and showed up soon after to take Ada to the neighbor's house. Colleen and Larry and us had our houses built next to each other 20 years ago. Abby stayed with Ada's while Kat took me to the emergency room. The nurse was making fun of me because I had put egg white and toothpaste on my wound, but the doctor came in and said his mom did the same thing too. He is from Pakistan. It must be the Ancient Asian remedy. Abby and Kat had to changed Ada since I injured my right hand. I have never thought they have to do that but they did it anyway. Thank you girls.
That was Thursday night. The next day I had to called a few of my friends because I had a booth at Winter market at Eitlejorg Museum on Saturday. Bonnie came in the morning then Kathy and Ann came in the afternoon. We ended the Saturday evening in the ER again. Ada's feeding tube was pulled out so the doctor put the g-tube in and today we went back for the G-J tube replacement. We only stayed in the ER for a fwe hours this time. Tomorrow we have an appointment with Dr. Segal, then Wednesday with Dr. Lipson.
Ada is doing just fine through out these past weeks. She laughs a lot more and look people in their eyes more. Forgive me for not posting as often. First, my right hand is still messed up, and second, we have a court date on 19th of this month. It took a lot of energy to deal with the issue. I hope you understand.
Anyway, I had learn that I can do a lot of things with my left hand alone. I can even change Ada with no problem at all. I show her my right hand and she laugh at me. Good new is we will get a new stove or even a new kitchen.
Ada's friends, if you have a chance to come home for the Holiday, please stop by and say "Hi" to her. It means a lot to her and to us. Ardis had already dec her room with purple tree and wreath. Come check it out.

Monday, November 17, 2008


Everyone tell me that seizure is a bad sign, something wrong with the brain or with your body. It sent out a signal to let you know that something is not right. Ada had one on Friday. It is to be expected for people with brain injury that they will have a seizure, sooner or later. Ada was standing on the standing frame when Connie and I noticed that she was shaking and her fingers just curled up. We sat her down and within a minute, she was back to normal.
I call Dr. Callahan and he told me to take her to ER if she has another one, so they can do c-scan. Why wait? I took her to ER, she had another one, did c-scan and found nothing had changed from the last result, got some med and prescription and we went home.
Remember i told you that she doesn't like to be touch on her right side of her body, especially her hand. She was holding my hand most of the time we were there and nurse Glen was able to get a few tubes of blood from her right wrist. At home she let me curled up in bed with her on her right side, I hold her hand and we took a long nap together. It may not sound significant to you, but may be the seizure is the good things. I think her brain is showing some sign of awakening. She is alert when she awake. She shake hand with everybody, keep her eyes on people a little longer and she still laugh when I make silly sound. The bad things are that medicine make her so sleepy and I might have to keep an eye on her at all time, which I don't mind. We will consult an experts later, when we can get a hold of one.
I hope this is good for her, and me.
A friend, Colleen, who is a speech therapist will come and work with Ada once a week. Also a few visit from friends this week; Rachael Watson, Milton Keys, Kirstin Olson and Grant Brown. Go PIKE! Even the nurse-aid, who comes in the evening to help me with Ada's bath, was graduated from PIKE. Oh, and the neuro psychologist at the Rehab also Pike graduate.
A better news next time, I hope.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I wanna hold your hand

Remember when I told you that she does not want to be touch, especially on the right side of her body, especially her right hand? I figure that if we offer her my hand by putting it near her hand, she will touch it. Not only that, she shake hand with her friend, Merisa, who came to visit last week. Little by little, she start touching me, she grabs toys from my hand and grab the cones from the therapist.
This week, we keep working with her walking, then, Connie, her PT had this crazy idea to see whether she can walk without the walker. Now, she cannot walk by herself yet, I was holding her elbow and her right hand, Connie grabs her with the belt and her hip. I mean, she actually walked across the room. I can feel her determination, her perseverance and her willing to work hard, in order to walk and stand up tall, again.
She also glance her eyes to the left side more and more. Connie think her left side had been neglect and she does not know that there is such thing as left side of her body. We hope she will be able to use her left hand and the left side of her body more. Then she can balance herself better when standing up. Everything Connie said just make sense to me. She does have the answer to all my questions. I am able to sleep at night knowing that someone really care, understand, and have years and years of experience working with patient like Ada and they both get along well.
Ada keeps surprising me of what she can do everyday.
Remember I told you that I will get help from Home health care Company who will send nurse-aids to our house and help me taking care of Ada so I can have time for myself. Well, last month, I got total of 4 hours of help. Then another company has been assigned to Ada and they sent a nurse last Monday to help me with a bath. She did not want to come back. She told the company that Ada does not want her to do anything. So this month, I got 1 and 1/2 hour of help. I suppose to get 60 hours a month.
I do tell that lady I will vote for Obama (I would if I could). Do you think she does not want to come back here because of the political reason, or she really doesn't want to drive 45 min. everyday to come here? I hope they can find a replacement soon. I need time to work on my jewelry. I had a big show at Eitlejong Museum early December.
Well, I still did not get the bed, the commode and the wheelchair for Ada. (We got the loan ones). I gave up calling those people. I don't want to be angry, yelling and upset because, most of the time, I cannot do anything about it. Just let me take care of Ada. The case manager at the Rehab clinic is working on that. It is not her job, really, but Ada has so many angles in her life that show up when she needs one.
A few friends stopped by this week; Nate Welch, Rachael Watson and Eric Holme. She seems excited about the visit today despite having a tummy ache. And of course, Ardis always here or just a phone call away when I need help or just need someone to talk to.
I hope you happy with Ada's progress report and hope you have time to stop by and say hello.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Art of "Walking"

We take it for granted, walking, because we learn to do that when we were so young and cannot remember how difficult it was to learn how to walk. Eliana who is 14 months old starts to walk, a few steps at a time then she will sit down and start a few more step. One foot in front of another, we said, but that is not so true.
On Friday, PT put Ada on the rail and she be able to stand up straight. "Let's see if she can walk" she said. We put Ada in a walker, with PT hold on to her and I was on the floor make sure she move her feet, one at a time. Ada has to learn to shift her weight on one foot while moving the other foot. Then straighten her knee the bare her weight and bend her knee again to lift her foot. Her right leg is more active so she get a big step out of the right foot while the left foot is still dragging, but that did not stop her. She walked from the end of the room to the other end without stopping. She must be on her feet for almost 45 minutes.
So now instead of looking for Standing Frame, we might need the Walking frame because just standing around for Ada is not enough. She can do much more.
She is also able to pull herself up in a sitting position, on the side of the bed and transfer her from bed to chair is easier. Still, we are waiting to get the bed and a new commode. Any day now.
Today, I went to the Polymer Clay Guild meeting, and Ardis had, generously, come over to sit with Ada. While they were watching TV, Ada grab the remote control from Ardis's lap and threw it on the bed. Ardis told her to do it again if she really did not like the show, and Ada did it again. Ardis had to change the channel.
Everyday, we celebrate what "else' Ada can do today.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Steven Segal

Dr. Steven Segal is Ada's new doctor. I am not joking. He was assigned to be her doctor, as of last Friday when we went to see Dr. Burns and found out that she cannot be seen by Dr. Burns. The company that works for Medicaid had assigned her to the doctor, who, had never taken care of the patient like Ada before, his office is so small, it was so difficult to get her in and out in the wheelchair, and he wants to see her every month, which is hard on Ada and us. He was nice enough to write all the scripts that we want for Ada. I had a list for him. Oh, well, like I said, people always blame Medicaid but the problems we had came from people who work for Medicaid. I don't know what kind of criteria they used, but I'm sure there is a doctor out there who can take care of patients like Ada., better.
Ada started PT today at Rehab clinic. She will be there 3 days a week only 1 hour each day. She is not ready for OT or Speech yet, but may be in the near future. Ada was standing on the Standing frame and PT challenged her to used her hand to hit the balloon and try to grab foam pieces and throw them away. She did just that till PT asked her to throw them in the box and she will let Ada sit down, and she did. We all laugh with joy. It had been a long day but it was a good day.
The case manager at the clinic is trying to get all the right equipments for Ada. We hope we can get a standing frame for her at home so she will be able to stand up on the day that she does not go to the clinic.
Seems like everyone is on the same page now, I can relax a little bit and take care of myself. We will get more help from CICOA.
Mike and Frances came from Florida this week. Mike worked a little bit with the drywall. He will help me plan the garden for Ada sometime. Mike is the only one in our group that still works as a Landscape Architect. Also Noy, Dirk and Eliana had been here every weekend. Dirk is helping with the paint job while Terry putting the cabinets together. The remodeling project is still going, if you can lend a hand. Abby came by and talk to Ada. Her eyes and her face lit up when she saw Abby. I know she cannot talk to you but please stop by, even for a few minutes, to say hello to Ada.
Happy to report the good news to you.
P.S. Thank you for everyone who sent the donations. May be we can get a Standing frame soon.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dear Santa

Daddy found this item on ebay Item number: 110295589001
I know this is October, but, wouldn't it be nice to sleep on that bed?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

If I have a hammer, I'll hammer "Hamilton" in the morning

I'll hammer "Hamilton" in the evening too. This is the company that suppose to provide Ada with the hospital bed, the wheelchair and the commode. We received a loan hospital bed, the one with the crank so we can raise the bed up and down. By the time I have to bend down and do that, I might just go ahead and bend down to change Ada. My back hurt.
We got the loan commode, the one that can support 300 lbs, 6' 3" man, but Ada is only 98 lbs and 5' 6". It is so big that I was afraid she will fall down the hole in the middle, and it has the bar across from the back and we cannot put it over the stall.
We got the wheelchair that the cushion is about 4" short for Ada's leg, so she can easily slide off the chair. The proper seat belt is also needed.
Well, people always blame Medicaid for slow process, but in Ada's case, she got everything approved very fast, if the request had been submitted to medicaid office, that's it. After 5 weeks and numerous phone calls, we just found out that Hamilton hasn't submitted anything to Medicaid. So my daughter has to sit uncomfortably in her wheelchair, in the commode and I am about to break my back bending down to change her 6-7 times a day.
I always get a comment from friends that I am being too nice, being to patient, being too passive. How can "being so nice" turn out to be such a bad thing. And if people can't keep their words, what the "promise" is for. I did make phone calls to those people. Lots of phone calls that nobody care to listen. ALL I WANT TO DO IS TAKING CARE OF MY DAUGHTER. If I call and have to yell at somebody, I will be so upset that I can't even go to Ada's room. I don't cry in front of her and she knows whether I am happy or sad or mad. Why can't they just do their job, the one that they suppose to do, the one they get paid for to do so I can do my job.
I understand that I have to be an advocate, a voice for my daughter, but I cannot spend times on the phone calling people everyday. I feed her, clean her, bath her, give her medicine, sing to her, talk to her, transfer her from bed to chair, from chair to bed, help her sit up on the bed, make sure she does not fall down from the commode, exercises her legs and her arms (since she hadn't seen the PO and OT for 5 weeks), push her outside around the neighborhood, give her hugs and kisses, tell her how much I love her, oh, and I have to take care of my family too. I realized how much work I have to do if I take Ada home instead of letting her stay in the nursing home, rooming with the 85 years old grandma, I am willing to do all this and willing to spend the rest of my life taking care of her, if I have to.
Sorry for the weenie-weinie.

Monday, October 6, 2008

It's a wonderful day

We went to Rehab clinic today. Finally, Ada can get a treatment from therapists who specialized in Brain Injury patient. The clinic is much smaller than the hospital and one hour session had proven to be more sufficient time for her. The PT, OT and SpeechT had given me a lot of suggestion of how we can work with her. One thing that bought tears to my eyes was how we can help restored her self-esteem. Ada is more aware of what's going on with her and must be very frustrated that she cannot get up, or talk or tell us what she wants. Lots of good tips. Not only the therapist who wants to help Ada but also the case workers are eagerly wanted to help with Medicaid issue. It is very complicated, they told me. No wonder!
Another good new is Ada got approved for extra help. When you take your love one home, you help save a lot of money so they provide you with extra aids. We will get 60 hours a month with aids and I will be able to work and do shows or go out and have lunch with friends.
Now we are still waiting to hear about the hospital bed, shower chair and her own wheelchair to be approved. She is using the loaned equipment right now and they did not quite do the job. My life would have been a lot easier with proper equipments.
The DONATE button is working now. Kim Cavender wrote about Ada on her blog and many Polymer Clay friends had donated some money already. Thank you, thank you, thank you. A special thank you e-mail will be sent out soon.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

She laughs, and I cry

Despite some set back on therapy, Ada is doing just fine at home. She is calm and looks much happier. Her room and a new bathroom is almost done, just a few works here and there.
Everyday I face new challenge, some set back, some good news, some not so good. I found myself with sweeper in one hand, phone on the other. Sometime I feed Ada and talk to the phone. Yes, lots of phone call to make, lots of people I have to talk to during the waking hour. I am fine, not a complain here, it just a lot of frustrations when the things just "doesn't make sense".
Good new is Ada will start going to RHI Rehab clinic on the north side of town starting next week, with that, she will no longer get help from Home Health Care. I am not sure what is the real reason behind that but they are working to get it back to her.
I start increasing her feeding not knowing that I will run out of her food before I can order more. I had to run to RHI and asked Dr. Lipson for a scrip, faxed it in, so she can get more food. "You are her mom, just feed her" she said. That's make me feel much better.
Calling her Medicaid case worker one day and found out that they still have her address at the nursing home. No wonder we never get anything in the mail and I have to call another case worker because that lady is no longer taking care of Ada's case. I think there are 3 of 4 case workers who are taking care of her case now. The phone list is getting longer and longer.
After this is said and done, I might be able to write a book; "Medicaid for Dummy" LOL. Not that I don't get any help or advice from anybody. Ardis and a group of expert had been following up on Ada since day 1, still, the system had become too complicate and so much had changed, even those expert can't believe what we have to go through to get things done for Ada.
Now, the thing that keep me going is when Ada is laughing at me. Not a real, real, big laugh, but a small chuckles and a big smile. She does that when we sneeze or cough. I cry, but a tear of joy.

Monday, September 29, 2008


I just add DONATE button to Ada's blog. This one is via PayPal. There is a small fee for transaction but it will be more convenience for everyone who would like to help the family. It will take a couple more day to set this up, I will confirm this in a couple of day.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

My Dear, Ada

This is one of my favorite picture of Ada. It was taken last month while she was at Methodist hospital. She looks calm and peaceful and still beautiful as always.
It is not hard to take care of her. She pretty much get into a routine from morning till night. She sleeps well at night especially after shower. By the way, I just gave her a first shower in her new bathroom. It is not quite finished yet, but we can shower in there. Her room and the whole house is almost finished. On the day that John has to make a lot of noise, we stay in the garage. Sometime she sit in the chair in the kitchen watching me cook and clean. In the evening, we put her in the chair near the dining table. I wish she would open her mouth and eat regular food. She is doing well with the feeding. I have to grind her medicine real good and let it dissolves in the water before getting it through the feeding tube.
Anyway, just stop by and say hello to her. I'm very positive that she remembers everyone who used to be a part of her life. Someday she will be able to say hello back to you.
About the fundraising, we are working on it. For now you can send the donation to us or go to the Fifth Third Bank any branch in the US and ask for "Silapiruti Fund" account, and make a deposit there. The fund will be used for remodelling the house so Ada can live comfortably at home with her family. I would love to have a small garden or a patio so she can be outside.
Her aunt from Thailand just came for a week long visit. Eliana and her parents came too. They got stuck here for a few more day since there was no electricity in Louisville due to the storm.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

She sleeps through the night this time

When Ada was a baby and we took her everywhere with us. People always ask whether she slept through the night yet, and the answer was always "No". Really, all my 3 kids barely slept through the night when they were younger. Ada must have get into a new routine. She sleep from 10:00 pm till 7 or 8 in the morning and sometime she took a nap in the afternoon too.
We still waiting for the room downstair and the bathroom to finish.
We still waiting for the nurse aid to come and help me twice a week.
We still waiting for the diaper to be delivered.
We still waiting to hear that Ada can go back to RHI for out-patient therapy.
We still waiting for Anti acid medicine because the one she needs is too expensive.
Not for long, I hope. She must be bored staying in the chair and in bed without therapy. I do exercises her legs and arms and we play with her as much as we can. And i get to kiss her and hug her as much as I can. Ardis came over to rescue me from time to time so I can go out and get things done. A friend who is a nurse came by to give her a bath and she also help me find a doctor for her. Once the construction is done, we will need help to put the furniture back into the room (or help throw them away).
I think Ada look much happier at home. I can also cook, clean and do laundry, and make a few jewelry.
One of my necklace is featured in the "Polymer Cafe'" magazine, and a few of my work will be included in a book written by a famous Polymer Clay artist.
Ardis and a few friends will be working on the fundraising event for Ada. If you have any suggestions and can help, please let us know.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Home, at last

I know everyone wants to know about this "Big day", the day we took Ada home. It went well, I think. Lots of hug and good luck wishes from the staffs, also lots of paper works before they send her out the door. Finally, we put her in the car and drove home. Since her new room down stair has not finished yet, we decided to put her in her old "Purple" bedroom. When Ada was young, she did not sleep well during the night. One weekend, she went camping with her girl scout troop, I painted her whole room purple and she slept better ever since. Anyway, she looks comfy there, for now, because the room is too small to accommodate everything that she needs.
I have to call and order her food and brief. Terry went to get her medicine. Ardis came with Pizza. We faced a few problems, first, we need to elevate her head while feeding her but she will be sleeping in a regular bed, second, she had learn to lift up her hip and she will slide downward from the seat while sitting up. We tried different chairs. Finally we put her in the massage chair that looks like recliner. Now she cannot slouch and slide and we can adjust the position of her whole body. She is sleeping now, peacefully and I can leave the room knowing that she will not fall out of the chair.
Arthy is happy that Ada's home. He hates going to visit her at the hospital. We all piled up in the bed next to Ada and teasing her. The dogs came by to sniff her and the neighbor came by to welcome her home.
Then she started to have a stuffy nose and cannot breath well. I ran out and get some cold medicine for her. I remembered when Ada was born and a week later, she had a cold. This is like taking a first-born baby home all over again. Crying all the way home from the drug store, I wonder if I am strong enough to carry on, to take care of her, to lift her up from the chair to the bed, to feed her and give her medicine, to clean her up and struggle to dress her, to arrange and get all the care that she needs,
I came home trying to get her into her bed. I struggled and started crying. Archie told me, "Mom, you can't give up" and he was right, I can't.
Tomorrow, the nurse from home health care will come for a visit. I won't get any help for a while until we get approval from Medicaid. I shoud get 60 hours of help a week, if lucky. On Tuesday, Ada will go back to RHI for out-patient rehab. I think she will be there 2-3 days a week and they will send a van to pick her up. Now that's a great news.
All the nurses and doctors told me that I will do fine with taking care of Ada. I hope they're right.
"One day at a time", and I will try to remember that.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Girl Scout Troop 1298

Rhonda Blake, the #1298 Girl Scout Troop Leader had made a call upon her troop to come out and help our family, and many had showed up today. This is the troop that started since First Grade and they kept it going until they reach High School. The girls became friends and so did the parents. Rhonda's husband, Doug and Katherine George's dad, David, were the biggest moving force to get things done today. Sabrina and her mom were here too. Anna's mom,Lori went to stay with Ada. Abby stopped by then went to see Ada. Carmen and her mom stopped by too. We took the carpet out, primed the wall then painted Ada's room. The bathroom is coming along and the new floor shod be laid down tomorrow, sometime. I still have faith that we will get things done before Friday. Kim from Houston was also here helping out. Many thanks to everyone especially Rhonda. She checked Ada's blog twice a day, so I need to write more so she won't get mad.
The annoying things was that we have so much "stuff" in the house. We have to keep moving them from one room to another. I wish I could snap my finger and those things just disappear.
I hope once Ada got home she will have more visitors. i know some of you do not want to go to the hospital or seeing Ada in the lifeless stage, but she is much better now and looks much better. She also starts to communicate a little bit.
The house still need a lot of works, help is always greatly appreciated. We will add a door from her room so she can go outside and we will create a healing Garden for her so she can be outside when she can.
4 more days and we will all be together again after 6 long months.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Smile a little smile for me

I went home to get some work done while Kirstin sitting with Ada. I went back and found them under the tree. I said hello to her and Ada gave me a tiny smile. Big enough to brighten the whole world.
Let's see what else she can do. She can wave her right hand to say no or goodbye, do high-five, point with her index finger, move her thumb, shake her head and express her anger and frustration through her eyes. She can stand on her feet, sit by herself at the side of the bed, keep an eye on the object (or a person) longer, turn her head and her eyes to the left, and give us a "look" when she heard the word "Botox".
Everyone at RHI is so trill to see her progress. She continues to surprise us everyday with "What else she can do?"
Today the PT got her to stand up on the walking rail and reintroduce her to "walking". Even though I was the one who moved her feet, a few tiny steps she made would help trickle her brain to rewire and to reconnect itself and she will learn why she needs to stand up.
Even though she cannot do all of the above all the time, we believe that all the hard work and lots of love will pay off and help her to be able to communicate with us again.
My legs really hurt, which means I did not use my back to lift her up any more. I'll be super strong in the near future. She is also helping me by standing up straight and put weight on her legs while I transfer her from bed to chair.
7 more days and she will be home. The construction is still going on, slowly, like a normal construction. I will miss all the good people at RHI and a "Pianoman" who comes and play piano for Ada everyday.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Under construction

We are in the process of remodeling the house to accommodate Ada's need. The family room be turned into her bedroom, the small porch will become her bathroom. We will get rid of the carpet and replace it with wooded floor. Come help us if you have time.
I hope we get it done by the time she get home which should be another week or two.
Ada is very alert which is good for her but not so good for me. She is able to grab my hand and push it away which make it hard for me to change and dress her. Getting her in and out of bed is easier unless she decides to stiffen up her body. When asked to look at mom, she is able to glance at me. At the hospital, the nurse came in to give her medicine and tell her that she also had an eye-drop for her eyes. The next day when the nurse mentioned the eye-drop, she turned her head away and close her eyes.
She also learn to tell us "NO!" but waving her right hand and, sometime, shakes her head especially when we try to offer her food. Funny how she'd never said "No" to food before.
So many little steps each day. Everyone at RHI told me they'd seen much changes in Ada since she got here. I hope she can stay a little longer.
I will try to update the blog more often.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Back to RHI

After being here at Methodist Hospital, we had learned that, according to Medicaid's rule, Ada cannot go back to RHI without their approval. We were devastated and the first think that came to my mind was "What did we do wrong?"
We have everyone here working on getting her back to RHI. Everyone was sitting on the edge of the chair because if they say no, we have to take her home today. This morning, the answer was no. Both Terry and I went to court in the morning, so we did not get the bad news. By the time I came back, we received the good news that she can go back to RHI.
We started working on remodeling the house today. Terry ordered the big trash bin so we can put all the unwanted stuffs in there. We will strip the carpet and put the new wood floor on the entire first floor. We will put up the wall around the family room and make it a room for Ada, also will convert the back porch into a big bathroom for her. Lots of work to be done and lots of help will be needed.
I cannot wait to take Ada home. It has been almost 6 months finally the whole family will be back under one roof.
The more time at RHI, the better for her. I think we can take her back for outpatient so she can continue the rehab.
Ada is getting better and better everyday. Everyday she makes me smile for little things she does like shaking her head, putting her thumb up, pointing her finger, hand jester. There are a lot of WOW! lately from people around her.
Well, don't know how long we have to wait for the ambulance to come.
At this moment, I am happy, really happy.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Ada was taken to Methodist Hospital on Sunday. She had high fever, high white blood count and was throwing up. We spend another 10 hours in ER. Till this morning, we cannot pinpoint on what went wrong with her. I wonder how many x-ray and c-scan a person can have during 6 months. She had it done from head to toe this time.
I hope we can get to RHI today. I am getting sick of sitting and waiting in the ER and the hospital room. Ada needs to get up or at least sitting on the chair or something. Watching Olympic games do help a lot.
Good new is when the nurse told her that she was going to put the eye drop in her eyes, Ada looked away and close her eyes. Ada is more aware of her surrounding and pretty much understand what we say.
Any way, we will have a busy week. With court day approaching; Ada's discharge date and the preparation at home, my show this Saturday, phone tag with the attorney and the insurance guy, make me go crazy.
I will write more when everything settle down and we can go back to our semi-normal life.
Thanks for the comments, emails and kind words.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Going Home

May be the title should be "Coming Home". Both Ada and I haven't been home for almost 6 month, so it is more like going home, finally. The date is August 27th.
Now we need to prepare the house for Ada since we do not have a bedroom downstairs, we need to remodel the house quite a bit. We might put her upstairs in the master bedroom for a while.
I am learning to take care of Ada full time. I transfer her in and out of bed to a chair and give her a bath. I will also manage her feeding and medication as well. The second is easy, I have plenty of practice already. The first one is killing my back and my legs. Lots of practice will help and I will get stronger and stronger. Ada is helping by putting her weight on her feet during transfer, so I don't have to lift 100 lbs every time I pick her up.
Ada had practiced standing up with PT's help and sitting on the side of the bed by herself for a while. She has to re-learn how to use all those muscles again.
Today dad bought a pair of white sneaker for her and she really like it. It also help keep her feet on the ground when she stand up.
We still working on teaching her to open her mouth, take some food and swallow. It will come, I'm sure. We need to be more patience with her.
If you in town hand have some extra time, I would need some help. You can come sit with Ada during the day so I can go home and get start on cleaning the house, I would greatly appreciated. You also welcome to visit her at home later.
I will try to post more in the future. I know many have read this blog and thanks for thinking of her.
Hope to report more good news.
P.S. The boys will get the training this weekend. I'm sure they are strong enough for the job but if we do it the right way, it will be a lot easier than just lifting her up. As a primary caregiver to Ada, I have to be able to do everything by myself. Dad and the brothers will learn how to help me once we settle down at home.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Having a great day

Ada is doing some new thing this weekend. First, she holds her her head up while sitting in the chair the whole day. She even leans her head back and has an eye contact with her friends who stopped by on Saturday. She seems happy to see other familiar faces beside her mom and dad. Please stop by and say hello to her if you have time. Don't need to stay long. It makes her happy. Second, today she lets me clean inside her mouth. I bought a small baby toothbrush that small enough to get inside and clean her teeth. Big deal, you might say, but she hadn't opened her mouth long enough for me to clean her teeth for 5 long months.
Daddy always teasing her by scratching her nose, now she raises her hand had grab his hand then push it away from her face. Now that she is more aware of what is going on around her and being able to focus on a task, I wonder what she will do next.
Being at RHI had given her an opportunities to see the specialists who had experiences with Brain injury patient like her. She gets her own chair that fits her, gets the medication that will help her awake, receives an intense therapy from the PT, OT and SLP. They also provide the education for the parents and family to teach us how to take care of our love ones. Meeting and talking to others make me feel like I am not alone, and how lucky for us to still have her. At the same time, I am able to get a good answer to all my questions and concerns. With that, it is a lot easier for me to go home, in the evening and sleep well at night.
I am learning to get her in and out of bed. Not an easy task and my body starts to fell the pain. The whole family will get some training before we can take Ada home. We will have to get the house ready for Ada, so if you can lend a hand, please let us know. We will remove the carpet and get a new floor, and might get a new coat of paint, if possible. Ada will stay down stair in the dinning room. I hope everything works out for us. Can't wait till that day to come.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sitting up straight and standing tall with your head up

It has been almost 2 weeks now since Ada came to The Rehab Hospital. Life is much easier for the Silapiruti family since the hospital is 10 minute away and they don't let mom stay over night. I get to go home and cook and clean and sleep on my bed, and have a few hour to make jewelry.
Ada has a busy day, starting with 9:00am till late after noon. She has 6 work out sessions, 1/2 hour each with PT, OT, and SLP. With 2 hour break in the afternoon. Ada is now well adjusted to the new environment and willing to work with those wonderful therapists. She also get a new chair and it help her sitting up straight and more comfortable and it is so easy to push and turn. We went around the building and go outside in the garden.
It is so nice to be at RHI. For Ada, she receives intense therapy and new medication that would, hopefully, help her to wake up and be more focus. With doctors, nurses and therapists who specialize in treating people with brain injury, we hope to get a good progress report in a few weeks. For the family, they have meeting twice a week with the helpful information that will help us deal with the situation better.
We will be ready to take her home in a few weeks. Ready or not.
Not only she can sit up straight on the chair, she can stand up straight on the standing frame. Yes, she has been standing on her 2 feet for 16 minutes yesterday. There is a big mirror in the gym and she can't keep an eye on her reflection. It was the first time she saw herself. We also working on trying to help her open her mouth and swallow so we can start feeding her in her mouth.
There is so much going on during the day, each day. Ada is more aware of the surrounding and more alert, which is a good thing. We will cerebrate each small step, baby step she make with love and patient and hope that someday she will be able to talk, walk, or just give us a smile.
"Your smile is like a ray of sunshine", a friend wrote on the back of his high school picture. Shine on us, Ada, we will be waiting, patiently.

Monday, July 21, 2008

From Nursing Home to Emergency Room To RHI in 7 days

It had been an extraordinary week for Ada. Last Saturday, the infection around her left eye had landed us in the Emergency room at 2:00 am. After a few days of anti-biotic, Ada was feeling better but ended up having diarrhea, so the doctors kept her there for a few more days. One of the nurse asked me why Ada stayed at the nursing home and not going to RHI ( Rehabilitation Hospital of Indianapolis). Then the ball got rolling. The PT and OT started the evaluation process, the social worker and the rep. from RHI started the paper works; letter of recommendation and, the most important in the process, asking permission from medicaid. It took a couple of day and lots of work, finally Ada was excepted to go to RHI with medicaid approval. Ardis and I were crying the tear of joy.
Transported to RHI on Friday night, Ada settled down and I went home. After 41/2 month, I had to go home and sleep on my bed. I was very reluctant to go home and felt kinna weird.
Early Saturday morning, I went back to RHI to meet Dr. Liptson. Not only she is the Director of the Hospital, she is also the best of the best. Ada is fortunate to have her. She always come to see the patient at 6:30 am, so I have to get up early if I want to talk to her. Good thing is RHI is 3 miles away from our house and I can get there in 8 minutes. Ada was evaluated by PT, OT and ST on Saturday and on Sunday, they started working with Ada. She was not happy, very frustrated and did not cooperated well with anyone. All the experiences were totally overwhelmed her and I hope she can cope with it in a couple of day. She will get 3 hours of therapy every day, 6 days a week.
They gave her a shower today. Imagine how happy she must felt, a shower after not having one for 41/2 month. She also wears regular cloth, not the hospital gown. good thing there is Target near by, Ardis and I went to get some shirts and pants for her. I hope she like the pink and purple outfits that we pick out for her. I still cannot go into her room after the accident. May be someday, I 'll go in there and get some of her own cloths.
The day will be busy for her. I will be there to help and to learn how to work with her. It is our ultimate goal to get her to RHI, and then get her home.
I went back to the nursing home to pack up. I'll go back and say good bye and thank you the staffs for taking good care of my daughter for 3 months.
So much had happened this past week. Stay tune.

Thursday, July 17, 2008


You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what your made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
Then you stand
composed by Rascal Flatts

I think that the above words ring very true to what Ponsawan and Ada have been going through these past weeks...but in spite of the many challenges they have taken a stand and are being strong women...they will have to be. What I see and hear everyday in Ada's world never ceases to stop and remind me to be grateful for all I have and to see what is really important. Ponsawan is about to take on a big challenge...bringing Ada home but with the help of family, aides, and therapists she will be fine. She has found her voice and she is strong. I imagine that every day seems like it has 48 hours in it. Always waiting for some small sign... something to show the doctors that Ada is reaching out. She knows better all the ends and outs of Ada's daily care and routine...she's her mom. Moms take that commitment to heart the moment they look into their childrens' eyes for the first time.
I have believed for some time that the nursing home was only temporary and that the Silapiruiti Family will be better if they are under one roof. It is very difficult to try to keep it altogether living and visiting with their daughter in a nursing home. American Village has far exceeded my expectations of what their type of facility has to offer a resident like a Ada. Many places could give Ada her basic needs but none would be there to listen to concerns, a staff that is always friendly, and genuinely cares about Ada and her family. Ada coming there was one if those guardian angel things I have spoken about before. But for all the good they have done there's no place like home and home and all it's challenges will be good for everyone...Ada will have the sights and sounds of her family and that will surly be good for everyone involved. Hopefully in the near future Ada will be able to go to a rehab hospital where she will get intense therapy and her family will get the guidance they need to take her home.
I know by many of your comments you are like me concerned and inspired by all that takes place here in Indianapolis. You worry about your friend Ponsawan but as you can tell she is persevering with your help...yes all of you who leave such kind and heartfelt messages of hope and faith sustains a mother who only wants the best for her daughter. The journey is long but they will travel it together and find joy in each day.

I appreciate those of you who have asked me to write again on the blog.I have been taking care of some of my families needs and trying to get back into the rhythm of my life and that of my family and friends. I too have three men in my life and I am amazed out how well they have done without me there to play traffic cop in their world...but it is time to help my sons to get on with their lives. Both have plans in the next year to travel and live in Korea for a year so I don't want to miss too much now. Again thanks to many of you who have expressed concern for me...I will never be the same...none of us reading this blog will. To much that has been given much is expected...I have heard those words often in my life and I have tried to live by them. I have been given much and one of those things I will treasure is my relationship with Ponsawan and Ada. Wherever their lives take them I will try to be there for them. They are not alone...they have all of you who are encouraging them your words, thoughts and prayers.


Saturday, July 12, 2008

ER, again

Back to Methodist Hospital for 2 am. ER visit again. Her left eye and the area below the newly installed bone flap was swollen and red. She had high temperature and looks uncomfortable, so we came to ER. Many testes, x-ray and c-scan had done to find out what went wrong. It took many hours for Neuro Doctor to come by and look at her. Well, first they just want to give her the anti-biotic and send her back, but I had asked for blood test and her white count was high. They always say that it is normal that she will get some swollen after the surgery. I wish I had been informed about all those "normal" things that could have happened so I don't get panic ad called the ambulance at 2 am. 10 hours later, they decided to admit her, 4 hours later, we arrived at room 5042 on the 5th floor. Private room, big window again, so I get to stay with her. I hope they don't kick us out so soon. I kinna like the view.
It's 9 pm. and the swollen is still there and it looks worse. They think she might get some kind of infection from the surgery. We will have to wait and see. She will get another round of anti-biotic and Neuro doctors should pay more attention to her or I have to go out and make a scene. Remember the movie "Term of Endearment", when mom (Shirley McLane) went out to the nurse station and asked (yelled) for the pain medicine for her daughter (Julia Robert)? Actually, the nurse that we have is so nice and she imediately recognized that Ada is in pain and the proper medicine was given to her right away.
More on that tomorrow. Hope I could report the good news.

Friday, July 11, 2008

All she needs is LOVE

I e-mailed Dr. Jill Taylor a while ago after finished reading her book. I told her about the Ada's daily routine and how we take care of her and wonder if there is anything else I can do. Here's she wrote:

Hi Ponsawan, all you can do is love her. Work with her when you can and love
her. If giving her care is stressing YOU out, then that does not help her.
She just needs you to love her the way she is, and then play with her. If it
is work then it is no fun for anyone. She needs to play to heal.

I am cheering you on from afar, Jill

So, that's what I am going to do. To love her, even more.

Just in case you haven't read through the comment, one of Ada's friend left the message for her. With much appreciated DeMarcus, you made me cried. Take care of yourself and come home safe.

To Ada and her family,

I am DeMarcus Ware, me and your daughter/sister didn't have the type of friendship that some of her friends have. However, when you meet someone that has that infectious spark, that amazing breath taking smile, they stay cemented in your mind for an eternity. You never forget them or how much you loved being around them.

Ada is and will forever be a special person, she brings the best part out of any person she meets. I played football and she was a cheerleader, so I knew her as the beautiful cheerleading chick. But then I was able to meet her (we had a english class together), and see that spark, that drive, that desire for more. Many people become comfortable with a normal boring life, you knew that she was thinking of a far more greater life.

I will pray and pray and pray for more blessings to come into Ada's life and your family. I understand that noone can understand the burden, pain, and sadness your family must feel right now. However, like many people before has likely said, you are not alone. In times of great adversity people come together to support and give strength to another. I am your new addition to the strength, and faith that was built on the friendship and love for Ada.

With extreme love,

Sgt. DeMarcus Ware

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Back at the Village

We are now back at the American Village. The surgery went well. They were able to used her own bone and Dr. Callahan also repaired the part the was done earlier too. Now she has full round head again. I had asked before the surgery if they can shave all of her hair off, but they ended up shaving half of her head. So, today daddy shaved the other half off. No staple this time, just stitches and they looks nice.
We got kicked out of the hospital by Saturday afternoon, even though I had asked for her to stay for one more day. Don't get me start! I am glad we don't have to go back there again. I was kinna disappointed with the nurses on 5th floor north. At one point, I told them that Ada was in pain and needed some pain medicine. The nurse turned around and asked how do I know that she was in pain. That's insulting to me. Ada and I was half asleep when the EMT showed up and asked if we were ready. I thought we supposed to be informed by the nurse or a social worker that Ada will be discharged and the ambulance had been arranged to pick her up, this afternoon, but no. Good thing about it was that the EMT that picked up Ada that day was her classmate since Elementary school. It was "Chantel"! I can't believe it. Now we had located all of her Girl Scout Gang. I hope we can get together sometime.
The pain had subsided and she looks more comfortable. She must be so bored because we did not put her on the chair for a couple of day. May be tomorrow then. She wiggles her body until her foot gets to the end of the bed and bangs on it. her cast will come off next Wednesday, finally, 18 weeks after the accident.
Last week we sat her at the side of the bed with her feet touching the floor. At first she looks so scare, then she gets the hang out of it. From that position, two people can lift her and put her in a chair. The PT is looking for different chair for her. May be tomorrow we can go outside again.
The meeting will be arranged to determine whether we can take Ada home or what kind of help we will need. It is a complex and probably long process, but everyone is willing to help and get it done.
I know I will be a primary care of Ada, changing her feeding her and give her medicine, and be by herside most of the time. Staying at the nursing home with Ada, I have to split my family in two. I need to go home and take care of my men. They need me too. We don't have a bedroom down stair, so we will put Ada in the dinning room. The new floor is needed because the old carpet is very old. We will put up the curtain for her privacy but being there she can be in the center of activities. With the dogs running around, Archie who goes to work at midnight and comes home at 4 am, Arthy who, after school open, will get up at 5 am and try to catch the bus to school, I hope she can get some sleep. For me, I can finally put the pasta machine on the table and work on clay again and get the house back in order.
I drove for the first time today after the accident. Pretty shaky but that didn't stop me. Nothing will stop me at this point.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Bone flap

Ada has a surgery yesterday to put her bone flap back in. It is a piece of skull that Dr. Jude cut out in order make room for her swallow brain after the accident. Dr. Callahan also did some repair to the other part too. I am not quite get the details, but she is doing on the 5th floor of Methodist hospital. She has a little tube to drain the fluid from her brain. We will be there for a couple of day.
The day before surgery, I had a car accident myself. A lady pulled out from the parking lot in front of me, real fast. I am Ok, just a little sore.
Ada will be back to the village but we are in the process of bringing her home. More on that later.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Some day you will find, the Rainbow Connection

Yesterday, Mr. Ed Staubach, Ada' favorite Music teacher from Pike High School, brought a group of kids from New Augusta Public Academy to play some music for Ada and the residents of American Village. Ada enjoyed the music very much. She used to play violin and piano. The last song that they played was "Rainbow Connection", it was also the last song that Ada played with him in High School. It is also our favorite song that we used to sing along with Kermit, the frog. The song brought tears to my eyes and still does.
For all Ada's friends, I think it is time you guys come back to Ada's life. Please come back and make the connections, help her make the rainbow connection back to world, our world, her world. She is very alert and be able to recognize familiar faces and voices. A short visit will be fine, 5-10 min. for the most. You can come visit her, introduce yourself and tell her some fun things that you and Ada used to do together in the old day. Bring some old pictures with you and Ada.
Weekend is less busy for her. She will be on the chair from 10 to 12, then again from 2-4. We usually take her outside on the nice sunny day. We will stay inside at the sunroom on the groomy day.
Please come by, I also miss all of you. You guys are a big part of Ada's life before and will be in the future. Call me if you have any questions. (317)640-7096

Monday, June 16, 2008

Picking up the pieces

I used to spend hours on the beach, looking for the shells. Most of them are broken but, once in a while, I get a perfect shell to add to my collection. Our lives had been shattered into pieces 15 weeks ago, but, like all those broken shells that had been washed ashore, we get a second chance to put our lives back together, and, I am beginning to pick up all those pieces. Just like to jig-saw puzzle with missing pieces,our lives will be never the same but we cannot just give up.
Sure, we want Ada to learn all the skill needed to put her in rehab, so she can learn how to use her body, her arms and legs. May be she can walk, talk and eat, etc. and perform a normal function. We can teach a robot to do that. As a mother, if she can't walk, I'll pick her up, or if she cannot put food in her mouth, I'll feed her.
What about her soul, her spirit, her mind? Will she learn to love again? Will she be able to live outside this 4 wall that we put her in. Everyday, we put her in the chair so she can learn to sit up straight, but, for me, it is a chance for her to get out of her room and meet other people. Sitting in the sunroom, she is practicing her social skill. Many peole stop by and say hello to her. On the sunny day, I get her outside so she can breath fresh air, feel the warm of the sun, feel the wind blowing through her face, touching the leaves from the tree, smell the flowers and the fresh cut grass. Forgive me if it seems like I haven't been working hard enough with her so she can follow the command.
Before I enter her room, I stop for a few second, leaving my worries and my sadness at the door. I want her to feel my happiness, my love. She can feel it and hopefully, she will learn to love again.
Thanks all my friends and family who, along the way, help me pick up all the pieces. Someday, all the pieces will come together. It will be a long journey, but the one I dare to dream.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Learning to let go

This past week, we had been working hard with Ada. Not only she is now able to grab the object that we put in front of her, but she also learn to let it go. And it is because she has to reach her hand out 2-3 times for the object before she can grab it, we think she might have problem with her vision, may be she is seeing double. I have a bucket full of things like my thread spool, the yellow rubber duckie, etc. , things in different shapes and texture. Last Saturday she was sitting outside with daddy. He clean her face and put the pink towel on her lap. She looked at it for a while and then grab and lift it up in the air. She looks happy. Since then she is able to focus on the task and really work on this new thing she can do. We call it "play time"
In order for her to qualify for the Rehabilitation center, she has to be able to take some command. We have a lady from RHI stopped by to see Ada. She gave us a guideline of how we can help Ada to regain her cognitive function. Very interesting and this is the first time we get a specific information of how we can help her.
This week is the Ambulance free week. Ada looks more peaceful and happy. I took the bumper out from the side of the bed and curl up beside her, gave her a hug and kiss her, just like I used to do.
I know I will not be able to have my "Old Ada" back, but I still have my daughter with me. No matter who she would become, I will love her as much as I love "Old Ada". I am no longer angry for what had happened, instead, I am trying to focus on how lucky I am that she is still here with me. No matter how much I want to strangle Dr. Jude for not looking at her c-scan 3 weeks after it was taken and Dr. Weber who has mess up her broken ankle that she is, still, wearing cast on her foot 15 weeks after the accident, I will forgive them.
I am learning to let go.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Happy Birthday Ponsawan

Tuesday, June 10th. is Ponsawans' birthday. I won't tell you how old she will be because as most of you know already she is very young at heart. I have a couple of plans worked out for her to celebrate her day one involves being outside...if the weather doesn't cooperate we will go to plan B. and still get to plan A another day. I hope all who reads this will leave birthday messages for her... she enjoys reading all your comments. If you have a favorite memory pass it will keep that "old" brain of hers active remembering right along with you.


P.S. Ada is having a very restful day!

Friday, June 6, 2008

A trip of a life time

Yui, my college friend, and I took a trip home together. We had planned this since last year. We just want to visit our family and go to the 75th Anniversary Celebration of College of Architecture, Chlalongkorn University. Then Nithi invited us to visit him in Phuket. With Ada's accident, at first I was about to cancel the trip but then my father passed away, so the trip back to the funeral was a must. Without Ardis, I won't be able to make this trip.

I was glad that Yui was with me. She comforted me through the whole trip making sure I was Ok. At Phuket, Nithi had arranged to have 8 more friends joined us at the private resort. We had a great time, eating, sleeping, talking and laughing. As promised, Nithi gave us a front row seat at the beach to watch the sunset. I picked up some pretty shells on the beach, just like I always did when I was a little kid.

Today I received an e-mail from Nithi and his beautiful wife. Another promise that we will bring Ada with us on the next trip to Phuket.

Back in bangkok, I had many more dinner with friends who had heard about Ada and wanted to help in any way they could. I was overwhelmed by all the support and love I got from all my friends who, some of them, I haven't seen for 25 years. Friends are always friends, forever.
The funeral was beautiful. My brother took care of everything. We had a traditional Thai dance performed during the ceremony. It was an honor for my brother and I that the King of Thailand had given a permission to place my dad's body in a special coffin. It was the higest honor any common could have received. He also given us a Royal fire to start the cremation. The next morning , we gathered the ash and took it to the SeChung island where we spread my dad's ash into the sea. The same place we did with my mom's ash. They finally are together again. You can see in the picture, my nephew had become a monk in honor of his grandpa. Tao is getting married on June 21st. I felt bad that he won't have time to grow back his hair, but he looks handsome anyway. His fiance is Japanese. He also starts building a small house behind our old house in Bangkok.

I went shopping, eating and met more friends and had a great time until I realized that I had booked my flight from JFK on the wrong day. And Ardis made me do it (LOL), she changed my flight and I got to spend 3 days in Hong Kong with Yui and her friend. She also wanted to send me to Australia to see Ting, but we will do that next year.

I am leaving you with the amazing view of downtown Hong Kong. I did a little shopping, mostly buying Jade pendants so I can make a beautiful necklaces with them. Yui and I spent most of the time walking and admiring the beautiful buildings designed by the famous Architects like I. M. Pei and Norman Foster. Thanks Mui and James, Yui's friend, an exceptional hosts. They invited us to join their family for a dinner at a restaurant. After dinner,Yui and I swore that we will not eat any more Chinese food after we go back to the State. Why? Because the food was so delicious, we want to remember the taste of real Chinese food until next time.
Well, I am home now and spend the whole day with Ada. She looks happy and healthy. With her hair all clean up, she smells like a baby, like Ada. I am happy to be back, fully charged and happy and ready for anything else that life would throw at me.
"Be a good, a strong woman" I always tell Ada and together we will be.
Phuket 2008'>"Bang Tao Beach, Phuket Island"
Grandpa's funeral'>"Grandpa's funeral"
Hong Kong'>"Hong Kong"

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

For Ada

Some choices will chose you, how you face these choices,
these turns in the road, with what kind of attitude more than
the choices themselves, is what will define the context of your life
Dana Reeve

I have saved this quote since I first read it. At the time I was thinking of my sons and the choices that they would be making concerning their futures. When I ran across it the other day I realized that my life... all fifty-six years of it still had a lot of choices left to make and that being a part of your recovery and having your mother's friendship is a choice and a road I am honored to be traveling on.

In a few hours your mother will be arriving home. Selfishly, I can't wait to see her and in the coming days hear all about this very special journey she has taken. I'm sure tears will come when I see her with you. Ada, you have waited very patiently for her return and while I know you missed her, I also know that you wanted her to go. You were willing to put up with your "blonde mom" until she returned to shower you with hugs and kisses from all her friends and your family in Thailand. She is your strength and grace. Yes, grace because even in your most quietest of ways you bring out the best in people. I think most people know that you and your mother are very close but I wonder if even she realizes how much of a reflection you really are of her. A few days ago I got an e-mail from an old family friend. I would like to pass along this description...a petite girl who stood out, striking with her sheer beauty and brightest sweetest smiles. She wore her hair long and straight. As a friend she was warm and caring, as a student she was intelligent and hard working, there was much determination in her face. Ada, do you recognize yourself...Ting was describing your mother... her friend of thirty-three years.

These days being with you have passed quickly... most people would think it's very hard to be living in a nursing home but they haven't had the privilege like I have to take care of you. In the first few days I felt a little like an intruder in your mother's chair. I missed seeing her making jewelry, sleeping, and taking care of you. I know you missed her too...but after a few days we both settled into a routine. Little did we know so many of our days would be in surgery rooms (three of them), hospitals and doctor offices...but out of all that you made progress on your muscles and bones and showed people not to give up on you. Friends worried about me but it's you who had all the hard stuff done to them...I was just along for the ride.

Things that I will treasure the most...watching your favorite childhood movie Alice In Wonderland though when I look over at you I think of Sleeping Beauty. The Ipod given to you as a gift that plays beautiful Thai and classical music...the sounds bring such peace to your room. The bargain we made to each other that only moms and daughters would understand...I kept my end of the bargain I'll be waiting for you to keep your part of it. Both of us being awakened by thunderstorms and saying goodnight to you with a kiss from your mom. You, finally turning your head to the center instead of the right. Becoming friends with your friends some of them seeing me as a "mom". Getting to know your brothers a little better and seeing how happy your Dad is when he brings a new bouquet of roses to his little girl.

Ada, how do I begin to express what all of this means to me...when I first came to the hospital and gave your Mom a hug, I told her there were no words that I could say to her that would give any comfort except that I was here to do whatever she needed. In a way it is the same now... what I feel for you cannot be put into words just know that I am here.
I knew the first time I met you that you were special and that you might become a very important part of our lives...karma has a way of bringing lives together when they least expect it... doesn't it.

Ada this part is for your Mom...Ponsawan I know this has been a wonderful journey to your homeland. It has given you a chance to relax, laugh, eat good food and be with the people who know you best. Every time I heard your voice I could "hear" the smiles on your face. To leave Ada took such an act of bravery and faith. It is the faith you had in me that humbles me ...I'm someone who up until twelve weeks ago you hardly knew and here you were leaving me to care for your daughter and essentially be a part of your family's life. I am humbled by the experience. Thank you for giving me this trust and having faith in me. I hope in the future when you need to get away you will know I am here ...we are a family in every sense of the word.

I have stopped asking in my prayers...why, because there is no answer or reason for this to have happened. But I do believe I was brought to the hospital to be a part of your life and the friendship your mother and I formed. A friendship that I get more out of than I give. I will continue with you on this road for as long as it takes. You have my heart.

Love and Hugs,

Dear Mom

Care Bear and I wanted to let you know that I got a new cast today. The doctor showed Ardis how straight my ankle and foot are now and in a few weeks I will go back to get a new cast. Ardis told them to make it white so you would have a new "canvas" to paint on.
I think this new doctor is very kind and will do all he can to keep my arms and legs straight.

What I really wanted to tell you is how well I've been doing while you've been gone. I have missed you a lot but it helped when you called and talked to me..I always knew it was you , not Ardis trying to trick me!! She can't speak Thai! I'm so glad you felt comfortable leaving all of us. Ardis is a great substitute mom and she will work out fine when you can't be here but you still know how to take care of girls better...sorry Ardis.
We have kept very busy with doctor appointments, therapies, and visitors. I now sit up in my chair twice a day to help build up my neck and shoulder muscles. I get my hair washed three or four times a week...can't wait for you to help out when they do this. You will see how happy I am. The nurses have been great too they changed my feedings so that you and Ardis can get extra sleep and I won't miss any feedings while I go out for limo rides. Macey has gotten into law school in Bloomington...yeah! Abby has been working hard at her summer job and Cynthia has come by to show me Art books...I liked that. Dad, Archie, and Arthy always come at night and we have good visits. You know Arthy he is always checking out the candy that we give the nursing home staff....Archie makes sure I hear some good music from his Ipod. Dad and I went outside Sunday morning and had a good time watching the geese and the swan named George.

So WELCOME HOME MOM and always remember what you do for yourself helps me and those pesty little brothers of mine.

Ada and Care Bear

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Ada's New Cast

This week has turned out to be busier than Ada and I thought. Ada had surgery on Tues. to straighten out her right ankle. The doctor had hoped for a simple lengthening of ligaments but had to do a more extensive surgery to allow the ankle to have a more natural appearance. We had to stay in the hospital for two days for observation and to get pain meds right. As usual Ada was a trooper...better than me I'm sure. I found sleeping in a straight back chair while looking across at the the other empty bed in the room a bit difficult to say the least. I never thought the extra bed in Ada's room at the nursing home could look so good. As you can see in the picture Ada has a very large cast on her leg...the size is due to the padding they put inside to protect the incisions. I told Ponsawan it's a large enough canvas for her to paint the entire map of Thailand with native flowers!! The new orthopedic doctor who is taking over Ada's case is a very caring individual....and the nurses all have kind words for him. You can always trust the nurses least I think so. I have forgotten to mention that last week Ada got her hair washed for the first time in twelve weeks...can you imagine how good that felt. We had bought her a blow up sink that we lie on her bed and place her head in it...this thing works great and Ada loves it. Since then we have washed her hair twice more and plan to do this at least three times a week. You know Ada had the greatest hair so now that it's starting to grow back we need to keep it the way she would want it.

Those two nights in the hospital as I stared out the window and watched the Lifeline helicopters coming and going my thoughts always drifted back to Ponsawan and the strength she had in those first five weeks. I think all but one of those nights she spent sleeping in chairs, floors, cots, and probably even standing up. I know why she did it...I just don't know how she was able to function. It's in those moments that I'm glad that I was able to be by her side so often to help take care of things... even if it was the simple task of buying her raspberry ice tea and pizza. She has taught me so much and yet it's lessons that I wish I never had to learn. I also began to think of all the guardian angels that have crossed Ada's path. In these dire situations it's easy to recall all the bad things that have gone wrong and believe me there have been but it's better to stop and remember all those angels that have stepped up to the plate to help Ada and her family. You know who you are, your the ones when it looked like the system was going to fail them you called in some favors. You wanted to be a part of her made some phone calls, you opened up your heart, and you did the right thing. All these guardian angels along with the doctors, nurses, therapists, aides, and all those who stay so positive contribute to Ada's recovery. From the bottom of my heart...Thank You!

Due to circumstances beyond her control....let's just say Ponsawan's has had a lot on her mind lately...she has screwed up her return flight plans. Instead of coming home on Tues. she will arrive home on Thurs late eve. The punishment for this forgetfulness is a side trip to Hong Kong...not bad is it. Her trip to Thailand had been going so well I was afraid she would decide to stay there for awhile and just phone me for reports. I am so happy she has decided to go on to Hong Kong with Yui. I didn't want her to travel home alone. Those two started this trip in JFK with a hug and I'm glad they will end it there with lots of hugs.

And if I may I'd like to say a big thank you to my husband Tom... who from the beginning has been very supportive of helping the Silapuritis' in any we can. He is what is called a road warrior..his computer business keeps him away from home except weekends. Tom is not much of a gardner and it's the last thing I'm sure he wants to do but this weekend he planted flowers for me. So, Tom after thirty seven years of marriage I know I don't say it enough... Thanks for taking care of me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

If I could save time in a bottle

I had a great time in Phuket with my friends. Just eat, sleep, talk and laugh. We barely went to the beach, except on one evening to watch the most beautiful sunset. Nithi is a wonderful host. He owns the island by the way. (Some day)
I had save many wonderful memories, lots of love and friendship in the bottle. Best of all, I had saved enough laugh to last for a year.
Thanks Ardis for taking care of Ada while I am gone. The funeral will be held this Thursday and I will be home next Tuesday. More details and pictures to share.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Sunny Days

As I had predicted the Memorial Day weekend was sunny and warm so Ada and Care Bear eagerly went out in the sunshine to start working on their summer tans. We took in the sights on the lake. There are very tame geese, ducks and one large swan named George that Ada got to know. Kyle went fishing and caught some bass but he is a kind fisherman and after getting them off the hook... back they go into the lake. Care Bear particularly was happy about that. Macey and her mother came for a visit as did Marisa and Abby. But probably her favorite visitor was her seven month old cousin Eliana. They really had a good time checking each other out.
Ada is doing well. She is having ankle surgery Tues. and hopefully that ankle will be on the road to recovery. She is a great roommate...Ada allows me full access to the bathroom, she never complains about my choice of music or movies, I get control of the remote and unlike her mother she doesn't snore!! She has managed to put up with me but I know she misses Mom . Ponsawan calls daily and yes Ting, she is in Bangkok visiting more friends and family. This will be a week of joy and sorrow for her but as I told her she will always be their little girl and they will live on in her heart. When Ponsawan calls I put the phone to Ada's ear and even in a deep sleep she wakes up and turns her head to the sound of her mother' voice. She knows her mother is always close... and of course when Dad enters the room to see her she also knows she is going to have her work cut out because he likes to exercise her arms and work on her stiff neck. Thanks again for all your sweet thoughts...they too sustain me. Love, Ardis

Friday, May 23, 2008

A Wow Day !!

Before I begin to share some news with you all. I want to first say that with all my heart I was blessed today to be the one to tell Ponsawan and Terry that their prayers, wishes and faith in Karma had come true. Ada had an appointment today with her neuro doctor. His name is Dr. Jude and for those who read this blog you may have seen his name. To make along story short he said that Ada had risen to a level that exceeded their expectations. We discussed a few things and then with a little coaxing from me he made a call to the best rehabilitation hospital in the state to have Ada evaluated. This is huge and what the family has been hoping for since Ada left the hospital. It does not mean that she is ready to go there but what it does mean is that she's going to be under their umbrella and if Ada makes the kind of progress she has been making she will get there. On Tues of next week she is going to have minor surgery to remove the pins in her ankle... they are causing her discomfort and since the Botox injection did not help her injured ankle the new ortho doc will also be lengthening a ligament so her ankle can be straightened. Ada will be wearing a new cast so I would expect Ponsawan to paint a beautiful picture... maybe the beaches of Phuket! The Botox injections are working in the other places that were injected. Ada has started to raise her head more often as if she is ready to get up and out of the room. We will be doing that today since the weekend weather is suppose to be warm and sunny.

Today after the doctor walked out of the room I shed a few tears and thought about Ponsawan and Terry. I thought about how for twelve weeks they have heard so much bad news. I don't want in anyway to minimize the news she was alive... but fighting for her life wasn't good. But what they heard for weeks in the hospital was very grim. Their belief in Ada sustained them and yesterday the news was great. I told myself that if it took all day I would not tell a soul until Ponsawan and Terry heard it first...fortunately in a couple of hours Ponsawan called while we were still in Ada's limo with her favorite drivers. She wanted to know if I had killed any docs and I laughed and said only with kindness. I then gave her the good news and told her it was due in part from all the good Karma from Thailand this week. It has been flying across the oceans to get here for Ada. I told Ponsawan to go and hug Yui for me and celebrate with friends.
I had not expected the day to go so well...not because we who have been around her hadn't seen progress but the fear that her doctor might not feel there had been enough...that was very real to me. One thing he did say was twelve weeks was not long for someone like Ada who had sustained much damage to begin to recover. That was the reality check we must all get used to...including Ada. You can sometimes see frustration and confusion come across her face... wanting to communicate somehow someway. I have been telling her all week we are working on it and this is not her problem it is we who have to find the key to unlock the communication. I hope calm soft voices soothe her for now because we will find a way.

Tonight Ada is resting and dreaming. Her dreams are of her mother... happy and smiling in Thailand, her father's gentle smile and kisses, and of how when she is able she is going to get back at Archie and Arthy for all their brotherly teasing. Tonight she is at peace. She has done her job for now. Ada has proven she has what it takes to make it.

Terry told me tonight that he had a new title for me... The Voice of Ada. I am humbled because I know if Ada could speak she would be advocating for herself one would need to.
I thanked him and told him I didn't kiss the Blarney Stone twenty-seven years ago for nothing!!

Hugs to all,

Thursday, May 22, 2008

These Small Hours

One might think that there is a lot of down time in a nursing home and maybe with some residents there is but not with Ada. Her mornings consist of nurses, aides, and therapists coming and going trying to do their best to not only take care of Ada's needs but the family's as well. The afternoons are just as full with physical therapy and getting her up into her fancy chair. The aides in the beginning used a motorized sling to move her but recently they feel confident that a few of us together can lift her out of bed and into the chair. She usually sits up two we tried out three...she did fine but once back in bed she slept for five hours. Most of us cannot imagine that sitting up in a chair can wear you out but when you have spent twelve weeks in a bed a person loses muscle tone that has to be built back up. Most afternoons or evenings Ada has a visitor or this might give you an idea of Ada's day. This of course is a normal day there are those days when she's out on the town meeting with doctors and on those days unfortunately she might miss needed therapies. But it is not those hours of the day that give me pause it's the quite time before Terry, Archie and Arthy's the small hours in the middle of the night when she is left undisturbed to sleep and dream.

It is then that I sit in the darkness not sleeping and knowing I should that I think of Ada and the beautiful person that we all know she is and has become. She usually sleeps very peacefully, sometimes with Care Bear who has been placed in her arms by dad or a young aide who always talks about the Care Bear they had as a baby. Sleep is as important and maybe more so right now than lots of stimulation. There are times during the day that I wonder if she doesn't want everyone to shut up and go away....hopefully one day we will all get an insight as to what she thinks and dreams.
It is in that dark stillness with the sounds of feeding pumps and air purifiers that I think of Ponsawan and all the nights she has sat here with her precious daughter that I shed a few tears. I think of my friend's courage and determination that the Ada who is here is as well cared for and loved as she once was as a newborn in her arms. Thanks to all of you in Thailand that are giving Ponsawan the new memories, warm hugs, and laughter that will help her in the days ahead. When she calls she worries not only of Ada but of me... I asked if she was having a good time and she said, yes. I told her then that is all I need to hear. I am fine Ponsawan and I am humbled by your warm words and your trust.

I will sign off with this verse:
Our lives are made in these small hours
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours still remain