Friday, July 11, 2008

All she needs is LOVE

I e-mailed Dr. Jill Taylor a while ago after finished reading her book. I told her about the Ada's daily routine and how we take care of her and wonder if there is anything else I can do. Here's she wrote:

Hi Ponsawan, all you can do is love her. Work with her when you can and love
her. If giving her care is stressing YOU out, then that does not help her.
She just needs you to love her the way she is, and then play with her. If it
is work then it is no fun for anyone. She needs to play to heal.

I am cheering you on from afar, Jill

So, that's what I am going to do. To love her, even more.

Just in case you haven't read through the comment, one of Ada's friend left the message for her. With much appreciated DeMarcus, you made me cried. Take care of yourself and come home safe.

To Ada and her family,

I am DeMarcus Ware, me and your daughter/sister didn't have the type of friendship that some of her friends have. However, when you meet someone that has that infectious spark, that amazing breath taking smile, they stay cemented in your mind for an eternity. You never forget them or how much you loved being around them.

Ada is and will forever be a special person, she brings the best part out of any person she meets. I played football and she was a cheerleader, so I knew her as the beautiful cheerleading chick. But then I was able to meet her (we had a english class together), and see that spark, that drive, that desire for more. Many people become comfortable with a normal boring life, you knew that she was thinking of a far more greater life.

I will pray and pray and pray for more blessings to come into Ada's life and your family. I understand that noone can understand the burden, pain, and sadness your family must feel right now. However, like many people before has likely said, you are not alone. In times of great adversity people come together to support and give strength to another. I am your new addition to the strength, and faith that was built on the friendship and love for Ada.

With extreme love,

Sgt. DeMarcus Ware


cu#1835204 said...


Thanks for sharing Dr. Taylor's advice.

That is a strange new concept for me to play with Ada. I have a fixation that she is not well and needs to heal. I never connect the two. Maybe that is what Piak is doing all along; he plays with her just like he always does with his little girl.

I still think it is a challenge to have fun while performing a care-taker role. I wish Daniel and I were enlightened by this concept when we took care of his parents. We were not successful as healers; we certainly did not know how to have fun serving them and keep such attitude.

You have been so loving and that is all you want to do for Ada. Now you have an added list to have fun with her. What a blessing!

May you find all new hundreds and thousands ways to love, be loved and have pure fun and joy in the process.

Nathan sent his card to you last Friday. He is so grateful for your loving consideration. I am in awe of you.

Much Love,

PS: Thanks for copying Sgt Demarcus Ware's heart-felt message here. I feel his love in every word and realize how special Ada and our young people are. I am very proud of them.

F said...


All what I said was "Ahah!" It sounds so simple, so obivious, yet we kept concentrating in more tangible therapy! Dr. Taylor spoke as a wise physician with a great human side. We need more physicians like her!

Remember all the times that you said: "Ada must be bored because we were not able to go out today"? And, Yin is right, several times Ardis or you have talked about Piak playing with Ada and she responded to the play in a very positive if she plays,she has fun. While she is happy and having fun, she will be activating her senses and her thinking process (therapy!)...she will not be bored.

She was always busy, active and like DeMarcus said, she will not just accept the same ol', same ol', same boring routine of life most people fall into. It makes sense to honor who she exciting, adventurous, loving, smiling, intelligent, playful, and active woman! All she needs is love...all she needs is being who she has always been. Love and hugs, F

Anonymous said...

I thought Dr. Taylor's advice was profound. Mental & emotional healing also require playfulness and returning to things we did as children.

God Bless you all.

F said...

PS Go for it!

Anonymous said...

My dear Ponsawan,
Coming home is a big step for Ada´s recovery, for the familiar environment and activities of family members and her interaction with them should give her brain a lot of stimulation. Good luck with all the work you need to do with your home to accomodate Ada.
I hope Dr Taylor continues to communicate with you.
This is also a giant step for you as a sole and full time carer for Ada. Can you get any help from your local council/government? In Australia, they will help you with remodelling your house and things like household cleaning. It will be hard work but I believe that you will handle it well. Compared to the early weeks and early months after the accident, caring for Ada at home must be easy.
Working with clay would relax you physically and mentally. And please consider writing whether about your clay making or about anything, because you have got so much material to write and you write extremely well.
I said special prayers for Ada and you in every chuch and every cathedral we have visited in Europe so far.
Take care