Thursday, July 17, 2008

Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand
Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what your made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
Then you stand
composed by Rascal Flatts

I think that the above words ring very true to what Ponsawan and Ada have been going through these past weeks...but in spite of the many challenges they have taken a stand and are being strong women...they will have to be. What I see and hear everyday in Ada's world never ceases to stop and remind me to be grateful for all I have and to see what is really important. Ponsawan is about to take on a big challenge...bringing Ada home but with the help of family, aides, and therapists she will be fine. She has found her voice and she is strong. I imagine that every day seems like it has 48 hours in it. Always waiting for some small sign... something to show the doctors that Ada is reaching out. She knows better all the ends and outs of Ada's daily care and routine...she's her mom. Moms take that commitment to heart the moment they look into their childrens' eyes for the first time.
I have believed for some time that the nursing home was only temporary and that the Silapiruiti Family will be better if they are under one roof. It is very difficult to try to keep it altogether living and visiting with their daughter in a nursing home. American Village has far exceeded my expectations of what their type of facility has to offer a resident like a Ada. Many places could give Ada her basic needs but none would be there to listen to concerns, a staff that is always friendly, and genuinely cares about Ada and her family. Ada coming there was one if those guardian angel things I have spoken about before. But for all the good they have done there's no place like home and home and all it's challenges will be good for everyone...Ada will have the sights and sounds of her family and that will surly be good for everyone involved. Hopefully in the near future Ada will be able to go to a rehab hospital where she will get intense therapy and her family will get the guidance they need to take her home.
I know by many of your comments you are like me concerned and inspired by all that takes place here in Indianapolis. You worry about your friend Ponsawan but as you can tell she is persevering with your help...yes all of you who leave such kind and heartfelt messages of hope and faith sustains a mother who only wants the best for her daughter. The journey is long but they will travel it together and find joy in each day.

I appreciate those of you who have asked me to write again on the blog.I have been taking care of some of my families needs and trying to get back into the rhythm of my life and that of my family and friends. I too have three men in my life and I am amazed out how well they have done without me there to play traffic cop in their world...but it is time to help my sons to get on with their lives. Both have plans in the next year to travel and live in Korea for a year so I don't want to miss too much now. Again thanks to many of you who have expressed concern for me...I will never be the same...none of us reading this blog will. To much that has been given much is expected...I have heard those words often in my life and I have tried to live by them. I have been given much and one of those things I will treasure is my relationship with Ponsawan and Ada. Wherever their lives take them I will try to be there for them. They are not alone...they have all of you who are encouraging them your words, thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
Ardis

2 comments:

F & M said...

Thank you Ardis. The poem is beautiful and as I was reading it, I thought it was Ponsawan the one who wrote it...until... I got to the end of it. So it does sound like Ponsawan's current life.

Your message sounds like a temporary goodbye. It is exciting for your sons to be proud of their culture enough to want to live and work there. I imagine it will come with mixed feelings for you of joy and sadness of not seeing them every day, but excitement as they grow on their own. I wish you well while they are here to enjoy every minute of it. We do not blame you!

As of Ponsawan, you began your message saying they are getting ready to take her home. It seems that the battle to accept her in a rehab center is still an uphill battle. We will overcome that soon.

I know that for Ponsawan it would be better to be at home with everyone under the same roof and with the ability to work on some jewelry. Plus, as much as we are all grateful to American Village staff for their care and hospitality, "there is no place like home".

My concern is all the work Ponsawan will have. I have no doubt about her desires and strength, but as a human being, I want her to spend the time with her daughter laughing and playing as she heals. Yes, I wish that Ponsawani could concentrate on having fun with Ada, while a nurse or a caretaker could do the rest.

This would be much better for her strength, her needs, her energy and how Ada perceives her mother's energy and happiness. If she is stressed, Ada will perceive it. If she is worn out, Ada will perceive it. Like Dr. Taylor said in different words, Ada will heal bit by bit with her mother loving her, relaxed and having fun. But only time will tell what will happen and what services they can arrange to have at home to assist everyone involved....

Thanks for writing. Enjoy your family!

F & M

cu# 1835024 said...

Ponsawan,

I am no longer afraid. With strong role models like you, Ardis, Francis and countless others on Ada's side, why should I be?

I am learning to be strong like you. When I falter as a caring human being in our journey together, I know you will tell me straight up and nudge me to get back and keep going. This is what I promise for you too; I will never shy away even when I feel inadequate.

We will be here together standing strong as long as it takes. Ada will one day be on her feet and travel half way across the world to see that beautiful sunset at Bang Tao Beach. This I believe!

Love,
Yui

PS: Ardis, your exquisitely framed sunset moment and thoughtful gift arrived yesterday. It reawakens my spirit; I never knew anyone can be so sensitive to others' emotional side like you. Thank you kindly.