Moving forward

The Purple Room up stair, used to be Ada's room. I painted it purple because she always has trouble sleeping. I thought by making the room darker might help, and it did. I painted it while Ada went on a field trip with her Girl Scout troop. She had a big Queen size bed so all her friends can hang out when they came over.
The past 4 years, I've been avoiding the Purple room. Ada and I sleep down stair and I have no reason to go up stair anyway. A few times I went in and packed her stuff in a box and put it down in the basement. I cried every time I touch her stuffs, her clothes, her jewelry, her diary, notebook and all other things.
I finally empty the room and asked Grant to come over and paint the room. It was not easy.

Now, Purple room no more. It is light purple-pink. Very lovely color.
I am planning to use it as my studio since I have so many projects on my table, there is not enough room to work. I spread out to the dinning table, but have to pack and put it away everyday. I hope being up there will help me be more productive and work faster since I will have everything I need in one place.
I moved a few boxes in today, it wasn't easy. I end up sitting here and cry about it. Now I am not sure I can sit in that room and not crying.
But life needs to go on, I need to move forward, to the next chapter of my life. Having a studio will do me good. I have many things I like to do and the creative juice is flowing. Time to let it out.

Ardis

Most of you who had read and followed Ada's blog since the beginning, must have read and known about Ardis. Ardis and I hadn't known each other long, we just met a couple of times before Ada's accident while I was working at the restaurant and Ardis would come in and had lunch with her friends. Her son, Kyle and Ada had been dating for a short time before Ada decided to go to Paris to see David. Ardis and Kyle rushed to the hospital as soon as they heard the news, and since that day, Ardis had been with us at the hospital, at the nursing home, at RHI almost everyday, for the next 8 months.
I gave her my phone and she answered it for me. She told people what was going on while I sat there, lifeless and useless. She made sure I ate, slept and went home. She paid for the meals, she called all her friends who could help us. She talked to the doctors, nurses, and then explained things to me in plain English. She went with me to the look at the nursing home before we moved in. She made sure that they took good care of Ada and me. She represented us in case of Medical Emergency. She stayed with Ada at the nursing home while I went to my dad funeral in Thailand. Everyday, I can count on seeing her smiley face at the door, bringing me donuts or lunch. I called her in the middle of the night when Ada was so sick and we ride the ambulance to the hospital together. She yelled at the doctors, made them come see Ada. Sometime, I wonder, who is this woman, and why she always here with me. I barely knew her. She must be my angle, my friend from the past life. What did I do to deserve her friendship, companionship, her love and care?
We spent a lot of time together, Ardis and I. We talked, and talked, and laughed and cried a lot together. I don't think I could have make it without her.
When we took Ada's home, we hadn't seen each other much. Ardis lives on the other side of town and she had been busy taking care of her family. Me, on the other hand, was trying to stand on my own two feet, so I didn't answer her phone calls.
Once in a while, we talked, went out to lunch, but I knew she has been busy.
In December, we talked via facebook and we went out to lunch. It was a restaurant near the Nursing home that we used to stay. She took me out to lunch one time and all I could remembered was mac&cheese. We had great time, talking. Her son, Sean, got married and she is about to be a grandma. Kyle, who went to Korea for a while is home with his girlfriend. Life is good I asked her to come to Ada's Birthday party in January. She said she will bring the whole family. I always want to cook for her, so I made a lot of food that day, but she texted me that she didn't feel good and cannot come. I was disappointed.
Two weeks later, she left message on facebook to tell me that she had turned yellow and was diagnosed with growth in the bile duct of Pancreas. I google it and my heart sank, I cried.
I should have answered her phone call. My stubbornness was to blame. I should have call her or have lunch with her more often. Oh well.
Ardis will have surgery on Monday. I am planning to be with her as much as I can, if she needs me. I just can't stand the thought of loosing her, not now.
Pleas keep Ardis in your thought and pray. She means so much to me and Ada.

Archie's Graduation

Archie graduated from Indiana University with degree in Math last month. So now we have 2 IU grads. We took Ada with us since the weather was quite nice. She and her nurse and I waited patiently in the hall way, while the rest of the family sat in the Auditorium. We even had lunch at Thai restaurant that afternoon. Ada was happy and she smiled and smiled. I am sure she was very proud of her brother, I sure did.
I have to give Archie lots of credit to be able to graduated in 41/2 years. As a freshman at IUPUI, he had to worked night shift at Fedex and went to school during the day. Then it was Ada's accident. I was gone to be with Ada for a good 6 months. I didn't know how he could continue with his routine, but he did. He stayed at IUPUI for another year, then asked to transferred to IU Bloomington.
Arthy was in High school at that time. It was tought for him too. He rarely visited Ada at the hospital or nursing home. One time he told me"I want Ada back". I wish I could. Arthy finished High school and got a job at Fedex. While he still lived at home, he hasn't come into Ada's room often. It was Annie, his girlfriend who came in and played with Ada. Slowly, Arthy felt more comfortable sitting with Ada while I have to go do something else.
Almost 4 years now and the boys are all grown up. They are men now and we are closer to each other than ever. Every time Archie came home from IU, Ada, who is able to recognize every one foot step, was not able to sit still until Archie came in her room. Archie would laid next to her, whispered something in her ears that make her smiled. It was between us, he told me.
Our lives had become normal again, in a way. There is always someone (nurse) come in and out to take care of Ada. It was not comfortable at first, but we get used to it now. There is a ramp in front of the house instead of the step. Everything evolve around Ada and her routine. 4 of us went out together sometime, without Ada, or sometime we take turn eating because Ada refused to sit in the dinning room. I makes a lot more jewelry and get my Mojo back. I don't like staying at home but with technology and Facebook, I am not alone anymore.
Dad is doing well too. Ada loves, loves her daddy. he always gets a big kiss from her. We all get along better since we have to focus on Ada's need first, not ours.
Ada continues to make progress. I can't believe it had been almost 4 years. Can't wait to see what she can do 4 years from now.
Thanks for all your supports, my friends.

One day at a time.

This is the advice I always get from my good friend, who, for almost 4 years now, had been listening to what ever I need to let out almost everyday. Sometime I just complain and complain too much, I was afraid that he won't come back the next day to hear me complain anymore. But he always there for me. Dr. Jill Taylor once told me that don't think about the future too much, I will freak out and she was right.
I was freaking out like she said. See, when my husband had to go to Thailand to visit his family, I told him, he can't be gone too long. he didn't say anything but he actually went for almost 6 weeks. While he was gone, I kept myself busy. It is hard to keep up with Miss Ada in the evening by myself. Arthy had been a big help but he had something else to do too. One evening, Miss Ada had a fever, her legs and the whole left side was shaking. I gave her Tylenol but she didn't fall asleep till 3 am. She had fever for a couple more days then she was fine. It had happened before and I think her brain and body react to germs in different way. With weather changes, holidays hectic, I stressed out. I just realized that this is hard, too hard for me to take care of Ada by myself. What if something happen to one of us?
I am trying to take it one day at a time, but just got a call from my husband who informed me that his flight from Bangkok to Shienghai was cancelled and he was trying to get another flight and, hopefully, he will be home tomorrow. Is it time to freak out?
One sad note. My friend, Ting, who always leave me comments, encouraging comments had been fighting brain cancer since last year. She is in coma now with a few more days to live. Ting lives in Australia with her husband and her young son. And I can't do anything about it, so I freak out, again.
Hopefully tomorrow, all my worries will be gone, or it will be just another day, who knows!
P.S. I received a call from my husband this morning. he made it to Chicago but missed the flight to Indy. he will be here this afternoon. And a friend in Australia was able to visit Ting and delivered my message to her. I just want to tell Ting that Ada and I are fine, don't worry about us. Rest well, Ting.

Christmas Ornaments made from Cheerios boxes

It had been a while from the last post, and I am apologized for that. I have done a lot of thinking, you know, how I feel about Ada, this Ada and old Ada. Ada is now a new person, it won't be fair to hold her against the old one. After all I won't get my old Ada back. It's only fair to move forward in life. I don't think Ada remembers anything or anyone from her past. I don't think she even remembers me, it just that I am always around 24/7.
It had been almost 4 years now. I am quite comfortable being a stay-at-home mom again. Oh, how much I used to hate that. Now I can go out and get away if I schedule the trip in advance. Arthy spend more time with Ada and more comfortable babysitting for a couple of hour with the help from Annie. I can go to meeting, a few retreat and spend as much time on Facebook talking to friends and customers.
Ada used to volunteer and did Charity works, and this Holiday Season, I want to raise some money and give it to Charity in Ada's name. These ornaments were made from Cheerios boxes. I saved a lot of them. Here how I do it. I cut the box into 1" strips, then glue 2 strips together. Cut the strips into pieces then glue 2 pieces together. Then I paint each pieces and glue them on another piece of cardboard, like so. After that, I paint more details on each tree, and add some dangling beads at the bottom.

I am planning to make more of them, so if you can help, please let me know. I am selling each one for $5 and it will take $1 to mail it.

Have a Happy Holiday everyone.

I am now at peace with myself and quite happy :)

P.S. Why Cheerios box, you might ask? Ada, for a while now, only eat Cheerios, Banana Nut Cheerios. She received 3 can of formula (Ensure kind) each day, a glass of juice, V-8, and a cup of soup via her feeding tube. She eats about half box of Cheerios everyday. Lately, she adds Gold fish cracker, Teddy gram and freeze dried Strawberry and Blueberry to her diet. So... I have a lot of Cheerios box :)

From Rachel

Hello All!
I thought it was about time for me to post something! Sometimes I forget how important it is for people to know different views of who Ada is and what she’s going through. Those who do not know me, I am one of Ada’s Besties since we were little. I try to go see Ada at least once a week. Most times I can’t stay very long, but she brings me joy on a regular basis. She listens and without words you know that she has an opinion waiting to bust out of her! She always did wear her emotions on her sleeve, more now then ever before. I had to tell her that Ryan and I were getting a divorce and she was so angry. She loved it when Ryan and I came over and he would act like he was pushing me down, cracked her up. She has now become okay with the idea and likes my stories of who I have a crush on. I don’t think she thinks that Brad Pitt will ever come around, but that’s okay. She literally rolled her eyes at me! I got to see her eat her first solid food, take her to her first movie, pick out shoes and have had some really awesome times before and since the accident. I am truly blessed to be a part of her life. She is starting to get better about pointing at things and where she wants to go which I’m sure makes life a little bit easier for Ponsawan. I tend to give her a hard time about not talking, and games, etc (in a healthy encouraging way).… and Ponsawan and I joke about her first words being, “Rachel, leave me alone!” The main reason I wanted to post something today is because she has so many friends and loved ones that follow her progress on this blog, which is awesome, and I would love to see people take a more active role in going to see her. If you have a day off work or an extended lunch break or even vacation time, I encourage you to stop by. If you do not live in the Indianapolis area it makes it a little more difficult! People tend to think that a visit won’t make a difference. It means the world to Ada and has a huge impact on her road to recovery. Yes, it can feel intimidating and scary. Seeing someone you love go through something like this is difficult, but what you must remember is that; she is still Ada.
With Love,
Rachel

One on One

We went back to see Speech Pathologist. This time she suggested we sat outside of the room while Ada went in and work with her. At first, Ada didn't cooperate very well. She push the equipment away and threw stuffs on the floor. I waited, patiently, in the other room. Forty minutes passed and the door opened. Ada did settled down and worked on the given task. She is able to focus and listen to the instructions.
Forget about the talking machine for a while, we are going back to showing her pictures. She responses well at home, especially with the picture of Cheerios.
I went to the paint store and picked up some paint chips. Stick one on the board and the other one on with Velcro. Ada is able to match all the pictures and the right color chart. Cheap and effective, we actually work on that 3-4 times a day. Good thing there are several hardware store around here I can visit.Don't want to get caught with a purse full of paint chips. They are free, I know.
Feeding tube is still in tack. I did called the Patient Advocate to see if they can do anything to help us calm Ada down in ER, the lady told me to talk to the doctor. They cannot sedate Ada in the ER, but may be a sleeping med would work. Like I haven't talk to Dr.before, most ER Dr., especially the intern, had no idea what to do with Ada anyway.
She is happy, healthy and laughing a lot. She continues to make progress, at her own pace. We just have to be patience.
Rachael still comes to see Ada every week, despires her hectic work schedule and not too shabby personal life. I love you, Rachael.

Toe nails

Ada had her toe nail pulled out a couple of weeks ago. We do not know what had happened to her toe, but the nail just did not grow properly. Of course, she either let us trim nor touch it. The doctor quickly suggested that we sedate her and work on the nail. Great, this way nobody will get kick. And because Ada had history of seizure, they felt that we should do it at St. Vincent Hospital.
We always take Ada to Methodist Hospital, but OMG, what's a different they way they treated their patients. Ada had her wisdom teeth pull at Methodist Hospital last month, they put us in a small room with curtain for surgery prep. I always make sure that they understand Ada's condition. I insisted on not taking her home until she stopped bleeding. After being separated, I have to sit in the waiting room while they work with Ada. I wondered off and got a call from Dr. that the surgery was done and she was doing well. I rush back and waited in the waiting area for about 30 min. when they told me I can see Ada. I went in and Ada was in bed, almost sit up in bed. They said she can go home, now. I felt rush but what can I do. I asked how do they know she was not bleeding anymore. They said she didn't swallow as much. In short, get the heck out of here, we need the darn bed.
At St. Vincent Hospital, we were sent into a surgery prep room, which is double the size of the prep room we used to be in, with door. There is a recliner and chairs and I can sit in the room while waiting. Ha? Her nurse brought me soda and cracker. Ada was given a few dose of sleeping pill before they can started the IV. They were very kind and understanding. Of course, the surgery took 15 min. to finish and her Dr. even trimmed all her toe nails. Ada was so sleepy and will be sleeping for a while. Her nurse told me to go get lunch because they will let Ada sleep. Ha? Ada end up sleeping for almost 3 hours before they even try to wake her up.
Can we changed hospital? I felt the need to go and talk to the patient advocate at Methodist Hospital of how badly we were treated for the past 3 years and I didn't realize that until we were at St. V.
For now, Ada is doing fine, and shouldn't have any major hospital even to attend for a while. The feeding tube works well for now. She is alert, much more alert sometime it is quite scare when she stands up from the recliner by herself. I can't leave her alone and she won't leave me alone either. Talking about separation anxiety. Sometime I think she acts like a typical 3 years old who likes to cling on to mom's leg, needs all attention, and occasionally, throwing tantrum.

All 4 Wisdom Teeth

Look at my big cheek rabbit daughter, she had 4 less teeth since Wednesday. Yep, all 4 teeth were out at the same time. I cried when I saw her after surgery. I cried before the surgery because I did not know how I would take care of her. I kept nagging nurses and doctors about Ada's condition just to make sure they know what they were dealing with. This is Saturday and she is smiling and laughing a little bit. I am not sure when she will let us back to clean her teeth again. Good thing I met a friend of mine on Facebook and she has been kind enough to consult me every morning. You got to love Facebook.

Rachael, my other daughter and Ryan came by on Mother's Day. Got to love her, she is the regular who still come to visit Ada almost every week.
It had been quite stressful lately. Problem with feeding tube, new nurses and now the Wisdom teeth, I really need a break.

In the Garden

Mike and Frances came by to visit Ada and I, so we went to IMA and walked around the garden. I was glad that Mike was able to help me pushing Ada around.

It was kinna annoying when I found out 3 years ago that we cannot just push Ada on her wheelchair and go where we used to go in the garden. The paths laid with gravel and the big flag stones make the task very difficult. Not to mention the terrain with steps, that's impossible. Frances and I stepped down to take a pretty picture while Mike stayed with Ada.

Since all 3 of us graduated from Ball State University with Degree in Landscape Architecture, we agree that something needs to be done or addressed to the designer that people in wheelchair need to be taken into their consideration too as part of the design.

That's what I hope to do, someday :)