Dare to Dream

A few of Ada's friends who stopped by for a visit had told be about how they got inspired by Ada's a chance to travel and see the world, and they had done the same. I like to travel myself but did not have a chance to do much of it, so I kinna get the idea into Ada's head that, every chances that she gets, just go out and see what is happening on the other side of the world.

Travelling became a part of Ada's life. We made a few trips to Thailand when she was young to visit her family. By Eight grade, her Chinese teacher took a group of students to China for 2 weeks, so Ada and Katherine went.

Ada has a small calender with everyday of the year fills with things to do. She was a busy girl., always has things to do, place to go. On the back was a big list of what to do this year, next year and so on. She wanted to go to Spain for Study Abroad program and she knew we cannot affort it, but off she went, anyway. She had a great time. First I sent her to London to visit my friend. While in Spain, she travelled with her friends to Morocco and France. She met David in Spain and later on went back to Paris to stay with David for 2 months.

I found her 2008 calender in her room. There were a list of things to do, places to go as usual. As of June 2008, she wrote; sell the car, move to Paris.

Many friends had followed her footstep. "I was inspired by Ada" they said. They travel to the other side of the world, they move to another country, another state. Kyle, Ardis's son, left for Korea on Sunday. He will be teaching English at the school there. I know Ada would be proud of him.

If you haven't done so already, live her dream. Go out and see the world. Here are some pictures I pulled out from facebook.

Now I have to set a goal for her. Nothing big, just want to see her talk and eat and walk again. There will be a long road ahead of us, but we will travel together, one baby step at a time.

Hugs.

Ada's 1st Field Trip

Today, Ardis and I took Ada to visit our friends at American Village. We had planned this for a while and today we decided it is a good day to go. Ada was excited about it, I can tell. She sat in her chair, looking out the window, waiting for Ardis to come. She usually took a short nap after shower but not today. On the way there, Ardis told Ada that we had took the same road back and forth to the nursing home before, in the ambulance. Ardis always sat in the front and I sat in the back with Ada. This time we sit in a car and Ardis was driving.
Everybody was so excited to see Ada. She shake hand with everyone.
I still remembered during our stay at American Village, through the darkest period of my life, those people, those friends, kept telling me that Ada will be Ok, she will come around and don't loose hope and they will take good care of her. I can't thank them enough for all they had done, not only for Ada, but for me as well.
Since Ada was doing so well, we decided to take her to Naked Chopstick, the Sushi restaurant that we used to worked. We eat there often enough know that the place will not be too busy, and we had a good time there. Ada was sitting nicely the whole time.
Sine she did great on her first field trip, we will take her out to the Art Museum and other public places when the weather get warmer. I know she get bored sitting at home. may be, we will have enough money to get a car or a van with wheelchair accessibility so we can go out more often.

Ada's world

Ada's world, according to Ada, only exist on her right side. She does not know she had the whole other side too. It is the combination of a severe damage to the right side of the brain and, I think, because during the period of 5 month with a missing piece of her skull, we cannot turn her or lay her down on the left side. The way that we help her is to approach her on the left side. We rearrange the room so that everyone will come in to the room from her left. Little by little, she will recognize her left side as well, we hope.
Ada's world, according to her therapist, only Ada will dictate what she wants to do and how she does it. She does not take command. If you ask her to do something, and she did, she won't do it again. You have to predict how she will react to certain things and try to get ahead of her. Connie is good at that, she knows Ada so well, I want to take her home with us. After all she is an expert with brain injury patient. Me, I don't fuss with Ada,I don't pick fight with her, not my job, and I just give in too easily. Because....
Ada's world, according to mom, is all about Ada. All I have to do is to love her. Forget about about the past, don't worry about the future, just be thankful that she is here with me.
Hugs

Back to Rehab Clinic

We braved the cold and the snow to go back to Rehab Clinic today. Thanks to Lenni, the Yellow cab driver who picked us up today. I hate driving in the weather like this. Arthy went with us today because he missed the bus this morning and did not want to go to school. His aunts and cousins came from Thailand for a visit so we have 10 people in the house and he doesn't want to miss a thing.

Arthy was impressed that Ada can stand up and walk (with help). His face lit up with happiness. Several months ago while he went to visit Ada at the nursing home, he told me he want his old sister back. I told him that he can't. I hope he like the sister that he has now, even though she is not quite the same. I knows Ada loves him. She turns her head to the direction of the door when she heard his foot step, as he is about to come into her room. Arthy will come in poking her, teasing her and make her laugh, and she will kick him with her foot when he is not looking. Archie, on the other hand, will come in and sit down quietly, watching Family Guy on TV with her or he will turn on the Music that she likes. He likes to talk to her when nobody around. Neo, Lucky and Clarice, our dogs, will run into Ada's room first, when we let them in the house, to say hello to her. Lucky like to sleep in front of her room. Funny how Daddy can get high-five and hand-shake from Ada everytime. She always give Valerie, her nurse, "the look" after Val brush her teeth. For me, I get a beautiful smile when I wake her up in the morning, and I know that it is going to be another good day, a better day, for us.

Friday is Ada's 24th Birthday. We will go to Rehab Clinic as usual because Medicaid only approved for 1 month of therapy, so we need to work, work, work.

Letter from Chantelle

Chantelle, Ada's friend had left the comment on the last post, but I want to put it here so everyone can read it too.

When Chantelle showed up at Methodist to pick up Ada, I remembered her right away. Who could forget that pretty face, Chantelle. I was so upset that they wanted send Ada back to the Nursing home so soon after the surgery. It must be difficult to picked up a friend in an ambulance. I am glad that you get into a line of work that you can help people who need help and care. Please come back and visit her anytime.

Ada...I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. Every time I sat down to write something, I couldn't put into words what I was feeling. I almost felt ashamed. I was speechless, sad, angry...nothing could explain how I felt...what i felt for you. How could this have happened to the most loving, caring, most beautiful person I have ever met. I don't think I ever remember a time when you weren't happy. I remember growing up with you. Our days in the "brownies" always meeting at Molly's house. You always knew how to make someone smile. I remember the day I got the page....I was sitting in the passenger seat. My partner's pager went off before mine. She started to read off the name...Silapa....wait...how do you say this. I instantly knew. ADA. I immediately started to cry. I wasn't sure if I could do it. My partner looked at me and asked if I was OK. What was wrong. I was scared. I didn't know if I could handle seeing you. When the accident first happened...Sparky called me to tell me what happened. He didn't know what hospital you were in. I called several other friends and they didn't know either. I told all of them that if they heard anything to please let me know so I could visit. I never heard anything. I figured you and your family wanted to keep things private. I apologize for not trying harder. I called dispatch to see if was OK for me to transport you, and they said as long as it was OK with me, I could. I told my partner that I would have to drive, but I wanted to go. She told me that if things were too much for me, to let her know. We arrived at Methodist and proceeded up to your room. I saw your mom, who right away didn't recognize me. She was very upset. She was unaware that the hospital was releasing you and that the meds wouldn't be taken care of until Monday. Your mom always had a way of making sure everything was OK. We got everything straightened out and then my partner went in the room to check on you. She came back out and asked me again if I was OK. I was. I walked in the room and it shocked me how wonderful you looked. In the line of work I am in...EMT...I see people with brain injuries every day. Ada, you looked wonderful. As soon as I walked into the room, it seemed as though you started to smile. When we were moving you over to the stretcher you seemed to be a little agitates, which again I am sorry for that. No one likes that part. We walked out to the ambulance bay and your mother came with us. It wasn't until she was in the ambulance with you did she recognize me. She talked to me the whole way there. After we put you in your bed, you seemed relieved. Relieved to be off of the cot and into somewhat of a more comfortable bed. Your mother and I stood and talked for what seemed like hours. During the whole time I was getting pages asking us where we were...we were ok. Just fine. Ada, I miss you. I got to see you one more time when I was transferring a patient to RHI. I saw you sitting with your dad and I am assuming other family members. I wanted to say hi but didn't want to interrupt. I remember what the doctors told your mother that day we were standing in your room at American Village, please don't give up. No one knows everything about the brain. It is still a mystery. Miracles happen everyday. I love you dearly and I know you can do it. You and your family will always be in my prayers. Every time I think of you, I remember that smile you gave me right before we went on stage our senior year....knowing it was our last time...and we were trying so hard not to cry. You will pull through this Ada, I know you will.

Put your head on my shoulder

Ada was up on the standing frame at the rehab clinic, she grabbed Connie's, her physical therapist, arms and gave her a hug. Friday was Ada's last day, unless we can get more hours from Medicaid. I hope we get to take the Standing frame home soon. Ada must get tired of sitting in the chair or laying down on her bed all the time.


Here is Ada on the Standing Frame.


















Ada is sitting on the red exercises ball.


Many friends came for a visit during holiday. John and Kirsten Olson came yesterday, and I can tell that she was very pleased. She laughs and smiles a lot. She moves her left hand more and more. She really try to move it and almost grab a brush that I gave her. This is exciting because she is left handed and we cannot wait to see what she can do with it. She also using her leg and her foot. If you sit close to her she will put her legs on your lap. The other day she pat the doggie with her foot.
Despised how bad the economy is, many had send in the donations for Ada. We are grateful for your thought, your pray and your generosity.
I would like this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy new Year, and if you haven't yet make a list of your new year resolutions, please do so by adding "I will visit Ada once a month" at the end. I'm sure Ada would like to see all your pretty, smiley faces.
Another good news is we are able to contact Hamilton about Ada's wheelchair. The electric bed that we had asked for is still pending. Ada's nurse, Valarie, had been a big help everyday. She comes 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening to help me taking care of Ada.

Calling All You Angels

It's been a while since I wrote on this blog...it's not that I haven't had anything to say but I think Ponsawan has kept you all up to date since Ada has been home more than I ever could. There are many nights I have wanted to contribute to the blog but couldn't find the words to really help you to see into Ada's world. These past few months have brought many new aspects to Ada's life and the reality that the brain is very slow to heal. She is physically doing better because of the wonderful and loving care that Ponsawan provides every hour of the day. Ponsawan has begun to pick up on the signs that Ada displays and then knows how to give her comfort. I see more expression in Ada's eyes these days...sometimes I swear she's picking up on what is being said.....and wants to tell those around her what's on her mind. She has a way of lifting up an eyebrow that brings a smile to my face.
Today the driver of the car that struck Ada plead guilty and was sentenced. Ponsawan spoke from the bottom of her heart as to what it is like to see her beautiful Ada live like this each and every day. She spoke of the tears she sheds every night before she goes to sleep and how each morning she wakes up hoping it was just a nightmare. When she told the court why Ada was out so late that night... a friend had called her to pick him up because he had been drinking, you could hear the air being sucked out of the room.
I also spoke... for all of you and I decided I would include my words in this blog tonight...

"What I remember most about Ada is her beautiful smile. When she walked into a room all eyes were on her. Because of this tragedy her family has been waiting ten months to see even a slight smile come across her beautiful face. As a mother who has stood by this family all these months I am in awe of how they go about their daily living with Ada. It is not in our realm of comprehension to know their pain. Ada was the light of their lives, she was the one who guided them through life, who was there with the quick hugs and of course her infectious smile. She worked hard and dreamed big. Ada has two younger brothers who adore their big sister. She was supportive, they told her all the secrets that you don't tell your parents. Now there are only one-sided conversations with her. Ada's family is still coping with the realities of her injuries...the endless therapies, doctor visits, the feeding tubes, the bills, the anger, the sadness, and the dreams lost. The battle goes on hour by hour waiting for some sign that she understands her surroundings. This was the girl who was two credits shy from an IU diploma, who volunteered during spring break to help Katrina victims. Today we sit and wait for her to move her head to the left...believe me that is a big deal. Ada we are here today to be your voice and to be supportive of the family you love. Do you know the words we say? Do you know where you are? We pray everyday that you do and that some day the connections will come. I hope this court takes into consideration not only the life that has been altered but all the lives that have been changed because of the selfishness of one man. "
There was one voice that could not be heard in that courtroom...Adas'. But she was there sitting next to the prosecutor with her father by her side and her presence was like a 1000 voices. You could see the tears well up in the eyes of even the court room personnel. I don't believe that Ada's family has wanted retribution... because no amount of jail time brings their Ada back as she once was. What they always wanted was for the driver to admit his guilt and for he and his family to see Ada and to know what a beautiful girl inside and out Ada was and what he had stolen from her that night. Ada being there accomplished this... the punishment was up to the judge. He has been sentenced to some jail time, community service, and future restitution. Hopefully the family can put the burden of court room appearances behind them and continue to focus on Ada's care.

Now for the angels part in all of this...as many of you well know the costs of taking care of Ada continues to grow. More therapies and equipment will be needed in the near future and much of it will not be covered by Medicaid. Like most insurance if they don't see quick progress they abandon the treatment. The brain is not a broken bone...there is no time frame on it's ability to heal itself. It will still be months before any settlement comes from the insurance company and even then Indiana law favors the defendant and the insurance company. I realize this time of year there are many requests for your help but if now or in the future.... please send what you can... the family is most grateful for your help and your prayers. This road is very long and most of the time they travel it alone. Let them know they have many friends around the world during this holiday season...send them your best wishes.

Thank you for giving them your love and support,
Ardis

Judgement day

I know you and your family didn’t know or ever had seen my daughter before, so I would like to tell everybody a little about her and why she was out in her car at 2 am. when the incident happened.
Almost 24 years ago, Ada was born at Ball Memorial hospital in Muncie. My husband and I were students at Ball State University at that time. She grew up like most American kids, went to school, joined the Girl Scouts, being a member of a Gymnastics team and competed at the State Championship level. During High School, she joined the dance team, Gymnastic team, cheerleader team and was a member of the show choir. On top of that, she was holding 2 jobs, volunteered at Wishard Hospital and was able to maintain a 3 point grade average.
Ada is daughter that any parent could be proud of. She is a good sister to her brothers and a good friend to many. One of her friends referred her as “A ray of sunshine”. She is a beautiful girl, outside and inside. She dares to dream; she had big plans for her life after she graduate from Indiana University.
On the night of the accident, March 3rd, 2008, Ada and her brother came home from work at 11 o’clock, showered and we piled up on my bed, talking. Then the phone rang and Ada’s friend wanted her to pick him up from Broad Ripple because he was drunk, but she did not make it to Broad Ripple. She had been his designated driver many times. That’s who she is, caring and worried about other people. Another example of her kindness was during the spring brake at IU, she had arranged to have a group of IU students went down to New Orleans to help clean up after hurricane Katrina.
This very same day last year, December 19, 2008, I dropped off my daughter at the airport. She was on her way to Paris, France. Standing on top of the Eiffel tower, she called me. “I am the luckiest girl in the whole world”. Life was good, for Ada.
She stayed in Paris for 2 months, then decided to come back to finish the last 2 classes at IU. She planned to go back to Paris in June. She did not go back to class. Instead, she spent 3 weeks in the critical care unit at Methodist hospital fighting for her life. The doctor did not think she was going to make it and had advised us to let her go. But she kept fighting and showed us the will to live. We spent 5 weeks in the hospital, 3 month in the nursing home, 2-3 trips to the emergency room each month, 2 month in the rehab hospital and now she is home with her family.
Forget about going back to Paris for now, with severe brain damage, she cannot talk, cannot walk, cannot communicate, she cannot eat or drink, can’t go to the bathroom by herself, can’t stand up on her own and confine to her wheelchair or her bed. She can’t tell us what she wants and how she feels.
A girl with a bright future who was on the go and loved by so many, what‘s in the future for her, or for her family. With the blink of an eye, unexpected thing happened that altered and changed our lives forever. Frankly, to tell me that it is lucky that she is still alive is like getting stab with a knife in my heart repeatedly. Every night, I cried myself to sleep, hoping that it was just a nightmare and when I wake up in the morning, she will be there smiling, giving me a hug and kisses and tell me how much she loves me.
It could be months, years, or never, who knows.
I did it and so darn proud of myself. I stood up in court and spoke on behalf of my daughter. My friend, Ankana always encourage me to join the Toast Master Club so I can learn to speak in front of people. Even when I was a President of Bead Society, I managed to avoid talking in front of people for the whole years. Angkana would be proud of me.
Many were crying , the judge admit that this is one the hardest case to judge. She asked me what would be a fair sentencing. I told her that it does not matter to me because it won't do any good for my daughter. It won't help her in any way.
The defendant is a nice young man, who had never get in trouble with the law, not even get a ticket. He works as a case manager for the Child Protection Agency. Both Ada and him were met at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He admit to all the charges, sincerely apologized.
I forgave him, I had to, just for my own sake, I can't keep getting angry at him, at the world. My heart sank watching him got his hands cuffed. I wish all of these didn't happened.
I am planning to visit him and tell him that I am not angry anymore. Now I feel sorry for him and his family.
I feel better, happier and know from the bottom of my heart, this is the right thing to do. This is what Ada would want me to do.

A special thanks to our friends

We had a few disasters last week. First, I left the pan of cooking oil on the stove and it was caught on fire. We managed to put out the fire and save the house but the stove, the hood and part of the cabinets was damaged and so did a few of my fingers. I still have all 5 of them but some with big blisters and puffiness. I called Abby and Katherine who said "I'll be right there" and showed up soon after to take Ada to the neighbor's house. Colleen and Larry and us had our houses built next to each other 20 years ago. Abby stayed with Ada's while Kat took me to the emergency room. The nurse was making fun of me because I had put egg white and toothpaste on my wound, but the doctor came in and said his mom did the same thing too. He is from Pakistan. It must be the Ancient Asian remedy. Abby and Kat had to changed Ada since I injured my right hand. I have never thought they have to do that but they did it anyway. Thank you girls.
That was Thursday night. The next day I had to called a few of my friends because I had a booth at Winter market at Eitlejorg Museum on Saturday. Bonnie came in the morning then Kathy and Ann came in the afternoon. We ended the Saturday evening in the ER again. Ada's feeding tube was pulled out so the doctor put the g-tube in and today we went back for the G-J tube replacement. We only stayed in the ER for a fwe hours this time. Tomorrow we have an appointment with Dr. Segal, then Wednesday with Dr. Lipson.
Ada is doing just fine through out these past weeks. She laughs a lot more and look people in their eyes more. Forgive me for not posting as often. First, my right hand is still messed up, and second, we have a court date on 19th of this month. It took a lot of energy to deal with the issue. I hope you understand.
Anyway, I had learn that I can do a lot of things with my left hand alone. I can even change Ada with no problem at all. I show her my right hand and she laugh at me. Good new is we will get a new stove or even a new kitchen.
Ada's friends, if you have a chance to come home for the Holiday, please stop by and say "Hi" to her. It means a lot to her and to us. Ardis had already dec her room with purple tree and wreath. Come check it out.
Hugs.

Seizure

Everyone tell me that seizure is a bad sign, something wrong with the brain or with your body. It sent out a signal to let you know that something is not right. Ada had one on Friday. It is to be expected for people with brain injury that they will have a seizure, sooner or later. Ada was standing on the standing frame when Connie and I noticed that she was shaking and her fingers just curled up. We sat her down and within a minute, she was back to normal.
I call Dr. Callahan and he told me to take her to ER if she has another one, so they can do c-scan. Why wait? I took her to ER, she had another one, did c-scan and found nothing had changed from the last result, got some med and prescription and we went home.
Remember i told you that she doesn't like to be touch on her right side of her body, especially her hand. She was holding my hand most of the time we were there and nurse Glen was able to get a few tubes of blood from her right wrist. At home she let me curled up in bed with her on her right side, I hold her hand and we took a long nap together. It may not sound significant to you, but may be the seizure is the good things. I think her brain is showing some sign of awakening. She is alert when she awake. She shake hand with everybody, keep her eyes on people a little longer and she still laugh when I make silly sound. The bad things are that medicine make her so sleepy and I might have to keep an eye on her at all time, which I don't mind. We will consult an experts later, when we can get a hold of one.
I hope this is good for her, and me.
A friend, Colleen, who is a speech therapist will come and work with Ada once a week. Also a few visit from friends this week; Rachael Watson, Milton Keys, Kirstin Olson and Grant Brown. Go PIKE! Even the nurse-aid, who comes in the evening to help me with Ada's bath, was graduated from PIKE. Oh, and the neuro psychologist at the Rehab also Pike graduate.
A better news next time, I hope.
Hugs