Monday, July 26, 2010

Back off

We went to see Neuro Psychologist at Rehab Clinic a few weeks ago. Everyone there was so excited to see Ada. After a long conversation, I told her that Ada can express more emotion; angry, frustration and fear, and that she always look for me when she get frustrated with something, so I always get the worse of her. Dr. suggested that I "back off" and be her mom and try not to be her therapist. I should try to get out of the house more and let Ada's nurse work with her, which usually works better when I am not around anyway.
My problem is I just can't leave her alone, always thinking that there must be something else that I can do. Since she does not get therapy except with Speech Pathologist once a month, I feel like it is up to me to help her, work with her, but may be I am wrong. In order for me to be able to take care of Ada for a long, long time, we need a break from each other.
It is not as easy as it sound, but I am thinking about moving my work table which in front of her room some where else, so I can be away when I am suppose to be away. May be I can use the room up stair when Archie moves back to Bloomington.
There are a few problems that we have to deal with this past month. First, she doesn't eat that much Cheerios like she used to, so I have to replace it with something else, second, what goes in does not always comes out. Then she has the red eye that we thought from her scratching it but it went away then came back for a day, then went away again. Always something.
Other than that she continues to boss us around and we love it when she does that.


Jackie said...

It's such a tough balancing act, Pons!! You are doing great, but do listen to Neuro Psychologist at least a little bit. I think moving your table away is a good idea, also getting out a little bit more. You don't want to burn out! Sending big hugs to you and to Ada.

Alisa said...

Thank you for the update. I know it's difficult, but I too think moving your table is a good idea. It's a little thing you can do and it may make a big difference. Who knows what will come of it, but it's worth a try. I admire your perseverance and endless supply of patience and love. Keep up the wonderful work. I always look at your polymer art and think your creativity is an important outlet for you. Your work is so lovely.

Anonymous said...

My dear Ponsawani and Ada,

You both continue to be an inspiration to me with your example of unconditional love, dedication and perseverance for each other. I think therapy once a month is not enough and that THANKS to ADA and YOU Ada is able to do all what she does TODAY. So keep up the good work, don't stop!

A thought that might or might not work; only you can decide, though.... When the therapist and nurse are working with her then let them work with her and you work somewhere else and give them space to help Ada grow in other dimensions. Take a break and let it all flow through your self-therapy: your creative work!

You are the BEST and I LOVE you and send you many HUGS and KISSES, your BSU friends

angkana said...

I feel your frustration and you sound like you are so alone.

Now I realize that writing a blog and talking with people through it cannot compare to real human touch and physical contact. You are trying hard 24/7 to heal Ada and yourself. Though the doctor said stop doing that, but if I were you, I have to trust them completely to hear what they tell me.

Somehow, I did not hear that the medical and theraputist team won your trust. I hope you can find a quiet place to rest your mind and ease your anxiety. You need a mental break.

As a former Buddhist, I remember being told to rely on myself; a relentless pressure to fight because it is all up to me. When Nathan had a motorcycle accident,a Christian me,learnt to step out on faith and cast the burden to God. I did let God take care of everything and I rested.

I am praying for you. I know you are much stronger than I am. May you find peace in all situations.

Much love and respect,
Your friend, Yui