Dear Ada: As seen on TV

Monday, February 28, 2011

As seen on TV

There is a new TV show on USA network called "Fairly Legal". A young, beautiful lawyer, Kate, turns Mediator because she wants to do the "right" thing. Last week episode was about a husband and wife sued a company for head injury and brain damaged to husband. The wife did not want to settle. Husband looks fine but something wrong with him. His personality had changed, seems like he was a totally different person before the accident. To make a long story short, Kate's conclusion was that the old husband had died, but the wife should learn to love again, with this new husband.
It makes me think! I am not sure if I should look at my life this way, but this Ada that I have is not the same Ada I used to have. She won't ever be the same.
What do you think? Are you agree with Kate? For 3 years, I have never thought of it this way. My father passed away a month after Ada's accident. I won't ever seen my dad again. Ada is still here but she is not the same Ada. I neither took time to mourn the death of my dad, nor the death of my daughter, Ada. May be it's time. So I can let go and learn to love this daughter, the one I still have. There is a lot of "Ada" left in her; her personality, her smiles, her scent, the way she tugs her hair behind her ears. There are a lot to love about this young lady.
I think Ada's brain had gone blank, and she has to re-learn just about everything. She is doing good. She learns to give us a kiss and she let me give her a hug and kisses and let me lay down beside her. Oh and she just learn a new thing; angry, aggression, huff and puff. I say it is a good thing, only disadvantage is that she takes it out on me most of the time.
Next month she will have a surgery to remove all 4 of her Wisdom teeth. I am not so looking forward to it.
Ada is healthy and happy and still learning new things, new skill, how to think. We visit her Speech Pathologist twice a month now.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...: So glad to read another update. I'm wondering if cheerios are still Ada's favorite food?; March 2, 2011 at 5:56 PM
Anonymous said...: At every stage of our lives we are really different people. looking back sometimes we can hardly recognize the person we were. Ada is in a new stage not planned, not what you and she had hoped. Grief is an ongoing process I know because I lost my mother 8 yrs ago and I grieve for her still. Maybe you could join a grief group to help you grieve for your father and the daughter you lost (in some way). My thoughts and prayers are always with you and Ada.......Ukudancer; March 3, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Sharon, Trent's mom said...: I am saving and sharing this post, if that's OK? I think that's exactly how it is.; March 5, 2011 at 7:59 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi Ponsawani, Missing your posts.

When I began reading the post I thought you had determine to sue to get funds to give Ada an agressive treatment and your family a peace of mind in your financial stability...but what a surprise! I might never understand why you didn't receive millions of dollars to assist her.

Grieving is a long process and if you feel it is time to grieve your dad, only you will know. It is never late. It is a healing process and it lasts differently for each person. It is a positive step in the right direction.

I do not think as "Kate" the character you mentioned. I think of Ada as transforming into someone different yet the same in some ways,as you said. I like the comment that we change in every stage of our lives as sort of how we could look at this, but not entirely so. Some day she will reach that point where she can be more of herself. I give thanks for her life! She is teaching us lessons daily just as she did before the accident with her determination and her perseverance. There is a reason why she didn't die in the accident. I do agree with "Kate" that we need to look at ways to love the "new Ada" just the way she is and for who she is. I honor that place in her and that place in you. With all my heart, F; March 6, 2011 at 9:57 AM
Silastones said...: We have the seen the checks, Frances, but have not seen the dime from the settlement yet. It is a long process, especially when lawyers from the other side have no compassion for us.
May be I feel better when we have money to fix up the house, finish her room and get new equiptments for her.
Sharon, you can share the post, no problem.
It just that we have never talked about it because I don't want to admid that I need help. I am just a mom, not a Superwomen. I do break down and cry, sometime.; March 6, 2011 at 8:20 PM
Roberta Warshaw said...: I came here because I saw some of your work in a book on polymer clay. This is not about polymer clay is it? This is about life and the awful things that can happen to us and derail our best plans.
I am sorry for all your losses and hope you can heal.; March 12, 2011 at 12:53 PM
Silastones said...: Yes, Roberta, this is not about Polymer clay, but clay and clay community have been a big part and great support for us. Along with friends around the world who constantly on myside, pick me up, cheer me on and support me with their uncondition love.
This journey for Ada and I will be long and we just can't do it by ourselves.
With clay in my hands, I don't feel alone :); March 12, 2011 at 3:47 PM
koreanirishmom said...: You have expressed yourself beautifully and truthfully..maybe you are just beginning to come through the shock of such terrible losses. Your father's death is something all of us children fear but know will come someday. His death coming at such a horrific time in your life... it is to be expected that you could not properly grieve or say goodbye...but Ada's "life" cut short is something not one of us is prepared for or can even fathom. I watched by your side for many months and was in awe of your strength but always knew you were in a place that know one I had ever known lived. This television show may have made you aware that you have to learn to love a new Ada but in reality you have been doing this from the very start. When everyone around you were cowards you moved forward...you cared and mourned for your Ada...three yrs. later there are still no words in any language that can express your love and bravery... Your parents gave you this strength to live for them and for Ada but it is ok to express your fears and grief for what is lost and what is gained....be well my friend
Ardis; March 13, 2011 at 5:47 PM
angkana said...: I love Ardis' and lovely supporting words in this post.

Every time I think of Ponsawan and Ada, I have questioned myself how I fare if we traded places. I wish I could have been strong just like you, Ponsawan. I think this is the most courageous things I personally witness.

I strongly agree that you will feel better if all improvements at home can be done now. I am sad to hear that the insurance lawer has no compassion. It does not have to be that way for them to do their job, does it?

Love,
Yui; April 12, 2011 at 11:03 AM
Anonymous said...: Dear Ada's Mom-
Your excerpt really breaks my heart. I continue to pray for you and your family. I truly believe, like your friends, that there is a reason why Ada lived through that accident. I know you aren't Superwoman, but I'm sure you are an angel in Ada's eyes. Your love and devotion to your daughter is unwavering and it's beautiful. I just pray that you get a break soon and you get rest and you can go through all the grieving you need, in the time you need.

Your daughter and your story inspires me. I'm keeping you all in my prayers.
Melissa; April 14, 2011 at 10:51 PM

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About Ada

This is a blog for my daughter, Ada Silapiruti. Together we will celebrate her life as a good daughter, a good sister, a good student, and a good friend. We will write about her past, her present and her future. Some day when she wakes up, she can learn about herself, about her life, about her family, and about her friends who will continue to love her and support her.

Ada was in a tragic car accident on March, 2008. She was on her way to Broad Ripple to pick up a friend who was drunk but her car got hit by the drunk driver. She is lucky to be alive but suffers a severe brain damage.
Ada is now living at home with her family and her nurses who help taking care of her. She is making progress everyday, small, but a giant step for her. She is able to walk with the walker and eating solid food. She smiles and laughes a lot. Come by to say hello, may be she still remember you.

UPDATE ON ADA

9/20/08
Now that Ada is home. I will not be blogging as often. She is strong and healthy, not too many things, health wise, to worry about. If you want to visit her, please call me at 640-7096. We should be at home, and hopefully she will get to go to RHI for therapy soon.

6/23/08
We went to see Dr. Callahan today. He is Dr. Jude replacement. Needless to say, they are just the same. May be this is so typical for Neuro doctor to act this way. We had scheduled Ada to have her bone flap put back on Thursday, July 3rd. I was laughing because I used to metion that we will get the best view of the firework display on 4th of July from the roof top of Methodist Hospital and we will be there. Ada will love that. Some say that many patients do get better after putting the flap back on. We sure hope so.

6/8/08
Back at the nursing home now, I trying to learn the new feeding and her med schedule. Ada get a slow feeding from 8 to 8 so when she has to go somewhere, she won't miss the feeding. She actually gains 2 lbs this month. She can communicate through her eyes and she makes all kind of faces to let you know how she feels or what she wants. Can't wait to see what she can do next week.

6/1/08
I made a mistake on my airline reservation, so I will stop in Hong Kong with Yui for a couple of days. I'll be home on Thursday, I promise.

5/15/08
Here is the address for American Village
2026 East 54th Street, Indianapolis, In 46220
If you want to visit Ada, please me a call (317) 640-7096 or call Ardis at (317) 871-4800
I will be gone for 2 weeks but feel free to come by or bring lunch to Ardis

4/4/08
We settled down at American Village this afternoon. She got her private room and they rearranged the furniture just for her. She seems to be more carm and peaceful. Strang place to be for me since I have nerver been to the nursing home before. I hope they take good care of Ada.

4/1/08
Ada moved into room 4039 on the 4th floor today. It is a step down. No monitor in her room which means no more munber to worry about. She is not in critical condition any more. It is more laid back on this floor. I got a roll bed to sleep on. Slepping on the chair for a month, I'm not sure I can sleep well tonight. Tomorrow I will visit a few nursing homes to see if they will accept Ada.

4/1/08
Yesterday they told me that Ada will be moving to 5th Floor, Neuro unit, but she might go down to 4th floor today. Who knows, may be the nurses on the 4th floor heard about the candy. We have to look for the place for Ada to stay after she gets out of the hospital. She can't go to Rehab yet, a nursing home, may be. This is very fustrated and confusing process, I just want to take her home.
She is doing fine today.

3/31/08
It had been a month already and we are still waiting for Ada. She can be completely off the vent or oxygen at this point. This is good for her but we run into the problem that she won't be qualified to go to Seton. We have to find another facilities for her, may be Rehab Center. One thing is, they won't throw her out of the hospital, promise.
Ada moves her right hand and fingers more. I am working on it, she must be tried of hearing me telling her to move her fingers by now.
Various music from several IPods are playing all day. I also read out loud from Win's book, and Abby comes in the evening to read Harry Potter to her.

3/28/08
Friday afternoon and Ada is breathing on her own without the ventilator. The nurse also put her up on a chair. Kudo for Jennifer, she is brave enought to do this with the help of other nurses on 6th floor. Everyone is so happy including Ada. :)
More good news tomorrow, I hope.

3/28/08
She slept well last night, must be some medicine they gave her. This morning she moves her right arms and her right hand more. Left arm will be trapped in the splint off and on all day. She also be able to breath on her own more and more. No word of when we will be moving to Seton.

3/27/08
The brain is still swallon, so no surgery this week. Imagine having one surgery each week, I don't think people my age can handle that. She is strong and fighting. The nurse gave her a bath today, so was sleeping peacefully while I left.

3/26/08
The doctor took all of the staples out of her head today. She was pretty mad, I can tell. They took her down for c-scan, she might get her flap back on her skull on Friday. Which mean another round of staples on her head. Her left arm is getting stiff, so the adjustable cast will be put in her arm to keep it straight. We need to start excercise her arms, other than that, she is pretty much the same, may be more alert.
Seton will have a bed for her pretty soon so we can move out of the hospital. Maybe early next week.
Hugs
Ponsawan

Dear Ada

Monday, February 28, 2011

As seen on TV

10 comments:

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