Dear Ada: All she needs is LOVE

Friday, July 11, 2008

All she needs is LOVE

I e-mailed Dr. Jill Taylor a while ago after finished reading her book. I told her about the Ada's daily routine and how we take care of her and wonder if there is anything else I can do. Here's she wrote:

Hi Ponsawan, all you can do is love her. Work with her when you can and love
her. If giving her care is stressing YOU out, then that does not help her.
She just needs you to love her the way she is, and then play with her. If it
is work then it is no fun for anyone. She needs to play to heal.

I am cheering you on from afar, Jill

So, that's what I am going to do. To love her, even more.

Just in case you haven't read through the comment, one of Ada's friend left the message for her. With much appreciated DeMarcus, you made me cried. Take care of yourself and come home safe.

To Ada and her family,

I am DeMarcus Ware, me and your daughter/sister didn't have the type of friendship that some of her friends have. However, when you meet someone that has that infectious spark, that amazing breath taking smile, they stay cemented in your mind for an eternity. You never forget them or how much you loved being around them.

Ada is and will forever be a special person, she brings the best part out of any person she meets. I played football and she was a cheerleader, so I knew her as the beautiful cheerleading chick. But then I was able to meet her (we had a english class together), and see that spark, that drive, that desire for more. Many people become comfortable with a normal boring life, you knew that she was thinking of a far more greater life.

I will pray and pray and pray for more blessings to come into Ada's life and your family. I understand that noone can understand the burden, pain, and sadness your family must feel right now. However, like many people before has likely said, you are not alone. In times of great adversity people come together to support and give strength to another. I am your new addition to the strength, and faith that was built on the friendship and love for Ada.

With extreme love,

Sgt. DeMarcus Ware

5 comments:

Anonymous said...: Ponsawan,

Thanks for sharing Dr. Taylor's advice.

That is a strange new concept for me to play with Ada. I have a fixation that she is not well and needs to heal. I never connect the two. Maybe that is what Piak is doing all along; he plays with her just like he always does with his little girl.

I still think it is a challenge to have fun while performing a care-taker role. I wish Daniel and I were enlightened by this concept when we took care of his parents. We were not successful as healers; we certainly did not know how to have fun serving them and keep such attitude.

You have been so loving and that is all you want to do for Ada. Now you have an added list to have fun with her. What a blessing!

May you find all new hundreds and thousands ways to love, be loved and have pure fun and joy in the process.

Nathan sent his card to you last Friday. He is so grateful for your loving consideration. I am in awe of you.

Much Love,
Yui

PS: Thanks for copying Sgt Demarcus Ware's heart-felt message here. I feel his love in every word and realize how special Ada and our young people are. I am very proud of them.; July 12, 2008 at 5:26 AM
Anonymous said...: Ponsawani,

All what I said was "Ahah!" It sounds so simple, so obivious, yet we kept concentrating in more tangible therapy! Dr. Taylor spoke as a wise physician with a great human side. We need more physicians like her!

Remember all the times that you said: "Ada must be bored because we were not able to go out today"? And, Yin is right, several times Ardis or you have talked about Piak playing with Ada and she responded to the play in a very positive way...so if she plays,she has fun. While she is happy and having fun, she will be activating her senses and her thinking process (therapy!)...she will not be bored.

She was always busy, active and like DeMarcus said, she will not just accept the same ol', same ol', same boring routine of life most people fall into. It makes sense to honor who she is...an exciting, adventurous, loving, smiling, intelligent, playful, and active woman! All she needs is love...all she needs is being who she has always been. Love and hugs, F; July 12, 2008 at 8:40 AM
Anonymous said...: I thought Dr. Taylor's advice was profound. Mental & emotional healing also require playfulness and returning to things we did as children.

God Bless you all.; July 12, 2008 at 8:42 AM
Anonymous said...: PS Go for it!; July 12, 2008 at 8:42 AM
Anonymous said...: My dear Ponsawan,
Coming home is a big step for Ada´s recovery, for the familiar environment and activities of family members and her interaction with them should give her brain a lot of stimulation. Good luck with all the work you need to do with your home to accomodate Ada.
I hope Dr Taylor continues to communicate with you.
This is also a giant step for you as a sole and full time carer for Ada. Can you get any help from your local council/government? In Australia, they will help you with remodelling your house and things like household cleaning. It will be hard work but I believe that you will handle it well. Compared to the early weeks and early months after the accident, caring for Ada at home must be easy.
Working with clay would relax you physically and mentally. And please consider writing whether about your clay making or about anything, because you have got so much material to write and you write extremely well.
I said special prayers for Ada and you in every chuch and every cathedral we have visited in Europe so far.
Take care; July 12, 2008 at 11:00 AM

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About Ada

This is a blog for my daughter, Ada Silapiruti. Together we will celebrate her life as a good daughter, a good sister, a good student, and a good friend. We will write about her past, her present and her future. Some day when she wakes up, she can learn about herself, about her life, about her family, and about her friends who will continue to love her and support her.

Ada was in a tragic car accident on March, 2008. She was on her way to Broad Ripple to pick up a friend who was drunk but her car got hit by the drunk driver. She is lucky to be alive but suffers a severe brain damage.
Ada is now living at home with her family and her nurses who help taking care of her. She is making progress everyday, small, but a giant step for her. She is able to walk with the walker and eating solid food. She smiles and laughes a lot. Come by to say hello, may be she still remember you.

UPDATE ON ADA

9/20/08
Now that Ada is home. I will not be blogging as often. She is strong and healthy, not too many things, health wise, to worry about. If you want to visit her, please call me at 640-7096. We should be at home, and hopefully she will get to go to RHI for therapy soon.

6/23/08
We went to see Dr. Callahan today. He is Dr. Jude replacement. Needless to say, they are just the same. May be this is so typical for Neuro doctor to act this way. We had scheduled Ada to have her bone flap put back on Thursday, July 3rd. I was laughing because I used to metion that we will get the best view of the firework display on 4th of July from the roof top of Methodist Hospital and we will be there. Ada will love that. Some say that many patients do get better after putting the flap back on. We sure hope so.

6/8/08
Back at the nursing home now, I trying to learn the new feeding and her med schedule. Ada get a slow feeding from 8 to 8 so when she has to go somewhere, she won't miss the feeding. She actually gains 2 lbs this month. She can communicate through her eyes and she makes all kind of faces to let you know how she feels or what she wants. Can't wait to see what she can do next week.

6/1/08
I made a mistake on my airline reservation, so I will stop in Hong Kong with Yui for a couple of days. I'll be home on Thursday, I promise.

5/15/08
Here is the address for American Village
2026 East 54th Street, Indianapolis, In 46220
If you want to visit Ada, please me a call (317) 640-7096 or call Ardis at (317) 871-4800
I will be gone for 2 weeks but feel free to come by or bring lunch to Ardis

4/4/08
We settled down at American Village this afternoon. She got her private room and they rearranged the furniture just for her. She seems to be more carm and peaceful. Strang place to be for me since I have nerver been to the nursing home before. I hope they take good care of Ada.

4/1/08
Ada moved into room 4039 on the 4th floor today. It is a step down. No monitor in her room which means no more munber to worry about. She is not in critical condition any more. It is more laid back on this floor. I got a roll bed to sleep on. Slepping on the chair for a month, I'm not sure I can sleep well tonight. Tomorrow I will visit a few nursing homes to see if they will accept Ada.

4/1/08
Yesterday they told me that Ada will be moving to 5th Floor, Neuro unit, but she might go down to 4th floor today. Who knows, may be the nurses on the 4th floor heard about the candy. We have to look for the place for Ada to stay after she gets out of the hospital. She can't go to Rehab yet, a nursing home, may be. This is very fustrated and confusing process, I just want to take her home.
She is doing fine today.

3/31/08
It had been a month already and we are still waiting for Ada. She can be completely off the vent or oxygen at this point. This is good for her but we run into the problem that she won't be qualified to go to Seton. We have to find another facilities for her, may be Rehab Center. One thing is, they won't throw her out of the hospital, promise.
Ada moves her right hand and fingers more. I am working on it, she must be tried of hearing me telling her to move her fingers by now.
Various music from several IPods are playing all day. I also read out loud from Win's book, and Abby comes in the evening to read Harry Potter to her.

3/28/08
Friday afternoon and Ada is breathing on her own without the ventilator. The nurse also put her up on a chair. Kudo for Jennifer, she is brave enought to do this with the help of other nurses on 6th floor. Everyone is so happy including Ada. :)
More good news tomorrow, I hope.

3/28/08
She slept well last night, must be some medicine they gave her. This morning she moves her right arms and her right hand more. Left arm will be trapped in the splint off and on all day. She also be able to breath on her own more and more. No word of when we will be moving to Seton.

3/27/08
The brain is still swallon, so no surgery this week. Imagine having one surgery each week, I don't think people my age can handle that. She is strong and fighting. The nurse gave her a bath today, so was sleeping peacefully while I left.

3/26/08
The doctor took all of the staples out of her head today. She was pretty mad, I can tell. They took her down for c-scan, she might get her flap back on her skull on Friday. Which mean another round of staples on her head. Her left arm is getting stiff, so the adjustable cast will be put in her arm to keep it straight. We need to start excercise her arms, other than that, she is pretty much the same, may be more alert.
Seton will have a bed for her pretty soon so we can move out of the hospital. Maybe early next week.
Hugs
Ponsawan

Dear Ada

Friday, July 11, 2008

All she needs is LOVE

5 comments:

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