For Ada

Some choices will chose you, how you face these choices,
these turns in the road, with what kind of attitude more than
the choices themselves, is what will define the context of your life
Dana Reeve

I have saved this quote since I first read it. At the time I was thinking of my sons and the choices that they would be making concerning their futures. When I ran across it the other day I realized that my life... all fifty-six years of it still had a lot of choices left to make and that being a part of your recovery and having your mother's friendship is a choice and a road I am honored to be traveling on.

In a few hours your mother will be arriving home. Selfishly, I can't wait to see her and in the coming days hear all about this very special journey she has taken. I'm sure tears will come when I see her with you. Ada, you have waited very patiently for her return and while I know you missed her, I also know that you wanted her to go. You were willing to put up with your "blonde mom" until she returned to shower you with hugs and kisses from all her friends and your family in Thailand. She is your strength and grace. Yes, grace because even in your most quietest of ways you bring out the best in people. I think most people know that you and your mother are very close but I wonder if even she realizes how much of a reflection you really are of her. A few days ago I got an e-mail from an old family friend. I would like to pass along this description...a petite girl who stood out, striking with her sheer beauty and brightest sweetest smiles. She wore her hair long and straight. As a friend she was warm and caring, as a student she was intelligent and hard working, there was much determination in her face. Ada, do you recognize yourself...Ting was describing your mother... her friend of thirty-three years.

These days being with you have passed quickly... most people would think it's very hard to be living in a nursing home but they haven't had the privilege like I have to take care of you. In the first few days I felt a little like an intruder in your mother's chair. I missed seeing her making jewelry, sleeping, and taking care of you. I know you missed her too...but after a few days we both settled into a routine. Little did we know so many of our days would be in surgery rooms (three of them), hospitals and doctor offices...but out of all that you made progress on your muscles and bones and showed people not to give up on you. Friends worried about me but it's you who had all the hard stuff done to them...I was just along for the ride.

Things that I will treasure the most...watching your favorite childhood movie Alice In Wonderland though when I look over at you I think of Sleeping Beauty. The Ipod given to you as a gift that plays beautiful Thai and classical music...the sounds bring such peace to your room. The bargain we made to each other that only moms and daughters would understand...I kept my end of the bargain I'll be waiting for you to keep your part of it. Both of us being awakened by thunderstorms and saying goodnight to you with a kiss from your mom. You, finally turning your head to the center instead of the right. Becoming friends with your friends some of them seeing me as a "mom". Getting to know your brothers a little better and seeing how happy your Dad is when he brings a new bouquet of roses to his little girl.

Ada, how do I begin to express what all of this means to me...when I first came to the hospital and gave your Mom a hug, I told her there were no words that I could say to her that would give any comfort except that I was here to do whatever she needed. In a way it is the same now... what I feel for you cannot be put into words just know that I am here.
I knew the first time I met you that you were special and that you might become a very important part of our lives...karma has a way of bringing lives together when they least expect it... doesn't it.

Ada this part is for your Mom...Ponsawan I know this has been a wonderful journey to your homeland. It has given you a chance to relax, laugh, eat good food and be with the people who know you best. Every time I heard your voice I could "hear" the smiles on your face. To leave Ada took such an act of bravery and faith. It is the faith you had in me that humbles me ...I'm someone who up until twelve weeks ago you hardly knew and here you were leaving me to care for your daughter and essentially be a part of your family's life. I am humbled by the experience. Thank you for giving me this trust and having faith in me. I hope in the future when you need to get away you will know I am here ...we are a family in every sense of the word.

I have stopped asking in my prayers...why, because there is no answer or reason for this to have happened. But I do believe I was brought to the hospital to be a part of your life and the friendship your mother and I formed. A friendship that I get more out of than I give. I will continue with you on this road for as long as it takes. You have my heart.

Love and Hugs,
Ardis