First times...

(Posted by John Olson)

Actually, the "first" time Ada and I had a heart-to-heart she was crying about jazz hands, and i cured her with a foot long Philly-cheese sandwich... which she ate from beginning to end at record speed. Just in case you didn't know Ada... (which wouldn't explain why you’re reading this blog in the first place)... girl could Eat.

But the evening i like to imagine as the first time, was at a birthday party. I don't remember anything about the party, except the enchanting conversation i shared with the beautiful, young, and (so i thought) well mannered namesake of this website. Unknown to me, she had been suffering recently from what i will call, a "ninja-cold." "Cold," as in... well, a cold... and "Ninja," in that it had a tendency to remain undetected until the choicest opportunity to spring on you from behind. She towered above me, so it went, me on an ottoman, she on a bar stool. I was enjoying her pleasant comments, she was enjoying an orange soda... And then it happened.

I know that all sneezes, by definition, are explosive... but this was a special sneeze. There was no "Ah." There was only "CHOO." Followed by a forceful geyser of fizzy orange vengeance.

Physicists, be warned... Once there was the magic bullet. This was the magic Soda. My face, neck, and shirt (to be expected) were coated. But also: Inside my left ear, inside my right ear, and (ready for this?) the back of my head.

I was Orange, she was red. She thought she'd ruined her chances with me forever.

Lucky for her i like oranges.